Friday, December 30, 2011

Five For Friday

Are you still cleaning up Christmas mess???  What IS this?  Why does it happen?  We don't really give a lot of gifts to our children... by American standards I suppose.  Small African children would probably be overwhelmed.  (I refer to small African children to my children on a daily basis... as in, "Small African children would love some of your dinner!"  "We could feed small African children just on all the Cheerios you've dropped on the floor!"  "I bet small African children would love the toys you won't pick up!"  I don't know where it came from, probably the info-mercials late at night on the Christian channels.  But those small children have become all the reasons for my childrens' possible guilt.)  Anyhoo...  Christmas mess.  I've got it.  We've even made a fairly big drop-off at ye ol' Good Will.  This crap just won't go away.  That's been my week.  Here's some more:

1.  I caught this: 

this morning.  Sometimes a girl just HAS TO go to the bathroom and I quite frankly never know what I'll find when I get back.  This is the second day in a row that Maximus figured he'd just go for it and grab a little cereal.  (No, the coffee's not his.)  While I gently escort him and his chair when I get back, I'm proud that he's finally taking initiative and becoming a big boy.  That's what we do this for, right??  For them to become independent, socially normal, relatively happy individuals?  We're getting there.

2.  So the stepson has been here this week and, cross your fingers, we've had NO 'incidents'.  ...of the big nasty ODD variety.  Yay!, me.  (and him!)  Everybody's been great... this is always scary for the Hubs because at some point I always say, "See!  We could have more!  We're good at this shit!"  To which he'll say something like, "hahahahaha.... grumble.  grumble.  hahahahaa.  no."  and walk away.  (I'm partially kidding.)  I joke more once Caleb's gone because it's so dang quiet.  The little guys love him so much and they play pretty well together.  I mean, hello... it's 11am and I'm blogging away and they're all just chilling.  Whatever will I do when normal life returns??

3.  I am sick.  I have the sniffles.  This pisses me off.  I never ever get sick.  My neti-pot and I have become besties.  I look at it this way though... if I can just get through this cold, mayhaps I can go another few years without one.  (ps... 'neti-pot' has always sounded so dirty to me.  like the word 'titmouse' or 'titivate'.  You should look em up though.  They are a-maze-ing. Here's the one I use and recommend.  It was cheap and available at Rite Aid.  ... I'm one of those freaks that doesn't 'do' medicine.)

4.  If you are following the saga of the steam mop...  you may be happy to know Ima let it rest.  BUT DA-YAM! can it clean.  Hairspray gone.  Booger goo gone.  Dog doo gone.  Last night's dinner gone.  I-can-do-it-my-self-but-I-get-distracted-because-I-am-trying-to-be-a-big-boy pee pee... gone!  All with no chemicals.  Love it. 

5.  Let's face it... I'm lazy and there's a holiday coming.  You probably won't be hearing from me for a few days.  I've got some grand ideas for the ol' bloggy blog for the up coming year though!  We be working on banners and buttons and all kinds of hoop-la!  I'm going to start up a new FAQ section due to the fact I am asked some pretty hilarious and ridiculous shit on a nearly daily basis...  it will seem un-believable yet entertaining, I am sure.  I would also like to delve more into homeschooling processes and curriculums and what has worked for me and what-not.  Ya know, homeschooling for normal people...  I am not perfect.  at all.  And neither is our skoolin', but it's working. 

Have a VERY Happy New Year!!  Be safe.  And think of me while you're living it up, drinking and party-ing.  I'll be sitting on my couch... watching Dick Clark... again.  (and drinking.) 

See ya in the New Year!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Hold me.

I'm not gonna lie.  I'm still getting off on the fact that I am the proud new owner of a steam mop.  Therefore, this will not be a long post.  How the hell could it be when I have bathrooms to de-gunk!  The project du-jour:  hairspray on the linoleum.  And I haven't owned hairspray in months and months, if that tells you anything.  I've gotten anal about it before and scrubbed, scrubbed, scrubbed with a Mr. Clean sponge on my hands and knees... but for what??  So that inevitably the Hubs will decide it's hair-cuttin-night and sprinkle little annoying hairs all over the damn place.  I'm looking for amazingly clean with very little effort.  Wow... did you see that tangent coming?  Neither did I.

Another reason this will be relatively short and ramble like some Seinfeld episode about nothing at all is that my stepson is here.  Normally I'd enter some snide comment here, but let me say that so far this visit is FREAKING AWESOME.  I have found myself literally walking in circles in my kitchen because I just didn't know what to do next.  The littles have all been occupied watching and laughing at their biggest brother.  What's a girl to do?  We're taking a break from homeschooling for a while and due to my shiz-nit steam mop, even my damn floors are clean.  (and not just clean, mind you... SANITIZED.  I will continue to talk about this through June, I am pretty sure.)  Provided this isn't just our typical honeymoon phase, I am both delighted and scared.  (a mom of five does not often find herself bored and this can be confusing and frightening.  Hold me.)

Due to rambling and what not Ima remind you here that you should click my little vote-y thing-y to the right of your screen.  It makes me squeal with delight when I move up in the ranks.  One day I may feel like a real blogger with hundreds of followers and then my life will be complete.  (?)

I will also show you this:

My tea party with Lola today.  Yes, we wore cowboy hats.  Happy Wednesday.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Steamy Mops and Jumping of Bones.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...  I was your normal full-time employee at a chiropractic office.  I had no children and no commitments... besides said full-time job.  The boss told me he was getting his wife some sort of hand held vacuum contraption for Christmas and this became fodder for jokes for the next few weeks.  I was sure to mention (because I knew everything, duh) that women do not want things with plugs for Christmas.  How unromantic!  How revolting!  How could he get his wife a vacuum for Christmas?  "But you have to know her," he'd say.  "She'll love it!  She's a clean freak!"  "No way." I'd tell him.  I felt I had some sort of duty to her as a female.  Poor thing, all unwrapping this horrid thing on Christmas Day.  I assumed she'd be crushed.

It is interesting how things change.  How we evolve into grown-ups, hopefully with common sense and better senses of humor...

Enter Christmas 2011.

I received a steam mop for Christmas.  It has plugs.  It cleans.

I could have jumped the Hubs' bones right then and there...  woulda been awkward for the kids I suppose.

I would have to say it was my favorite gift yet.

... funny how we change.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Five for Friday

Today is amazingly gorgeous and I've gotta have time to enjoy it... so, quickly!... here's the rundown:

1.  The funny of the week:  Coop gets the words 'pimples' and 'nipples' mixed up.  What do I mean?  Example:  as I am waiting for him to bring the broom into the bathroom yesterday so we can begin The Major Cleanup, I pause to reflect on my garden of pimples I have been cultivating on my right cheek.  "Stop popping your nipples, Mom.  Let's get to work!"  It is hard to not roll on the floor when things like this happen... and sometimes I nearly do...  but yesterday we had a very quick anatomy lesson. 

2.  The behavioral therapist has been called in for Max.  Yay.  Hopefully this will help with keeping all my windows around a little longer.  I don't know how this works though.  I hope she doesn't sit around and 'observe' me like some sort of Super Nanny, then declare I am doing everything wrong, wrong, WRONG.  Something you should know about me:  I do not take criticism well.  I'd like to say I do... that I learn from it, and grow, and blah, blah, blah.  But instead I usually just bitch about it to at the Hubs.  I will take it in stride though.  I'll do anything in the name of PEACE.

3.  Remember where I was all like, "Wow!  Homeschooling!  We're rocking it."  I still think that, but it's tipped itself over to the other side of the spectrum where I wonder if we're doing enough.  Should it feel like work, or have we finally figured out how to make it work?  The state mandates that we 'do' homeschool for four hours a day.  We've been knocking out phonics, math, spelling, vocabulary, reading and handwriting in 1-2.  Everyday life is learning... that's where we grab science and a lot of other things.  I guess I just feel guilty that his nose isn't in a book all day long... but if he's getting it... he's getting it, right? 

4.  We've spent the week without a TV.  Or rather, the kids have.  Is it broken?  Nope!  But that's what I told 'em.  Our remote's been on the brink for weeks now and it finally took its celestial dirt nap on Monday.  I just told them the whole damn thing was broken.  I even joked to the guy at Comcast that he could ship the new one instead of us picking it up because the house was much more peaceful this way.  Don't know about you, but even though these heathens only get about an hour of TV a day, they are little snots when we turn it off.  It can be a brain warper.  (It can also be a fantastic babysitter when mama needs a break, so I will come out of this mood soon.) 

5.  Here's a picture from last Christmas:

I noticed many things right away:
  • Lola makes the same dang face when she's about to cry even now, a year later.
  • Caleb always gets stuck holding the babies.
  • I guess I CAN'T put Coop in the red and black sweater this Christmas.  Or I could... but it may be tacky.
  • I should invest in black socks for the kids.
  • Max really hasn't changed.
  • There really isn't any hope that a large group of siblings will look at the camera and smile at the same time.
Amazing, right??  Well, I thought so anyway.  Here in the south it's freaking warm.  Hot, I'd say... in the house anyway.  I was all prepared to make chili tonight (and by prepared I mean, I like, had to soak beans and shit...  anything in the name of cheap!)  I have to keep plugging away at it, cause that's what was planned.... but eh, chili when it's 70 outside?  hrmph.

Hope you have an excellent weekend.  Don't get too frenzied over all this Christmas stuff.  This too shall pass.  I mean, I love it, but I'm not stressing it!  Enjoy.

Monday, December 12, 2011


Teeth.  I freakin hate 'em.  I have teeth issues that need to be rectified just as soon as the ol' FSA is all shiny and new again in January.  I've always had teeth 'issues'... really just cosmetic as I grew up.  My mom and dad just didn't find 'teeth' to be much of a priority.  My one dentist visit as a child came after I finally met quota on complaints and got to have a cavity filled.  The cosmetic part bothered me as a teen.  I told myself I could just make it my thing... like Madonna or David Letterman.  I grew out of caring much.  Hey, I got dates.  The Hubs didn't seem to mind.  I was cool til one night out with my older sister, a friend of hers got a little tipsy and said, "I just love your little crooked tooth".  Who says that?  Conscious of it all over again.  MY.  LITTLE.  CROOKED.  TOOTH.  Teeth.  I hate talking about them.  I hate looking at them.  I hate the dentist.

I was peacefully slumbering this morning til my lights came on full blast.  "Sorry, mom.  I've got to show you something and you are going to think it's cool."  I highly doubted it.  ...til he showed me.

Wiggle.  Wiggle.

I remember sitting in mass one morning as a youngin'.  Praying to the Lord Baby Jesus that he would simply just let my tooth fall out.  All on it's own.  Without my help.  'I will do ANYTHING." I thought, "Clean the house!  Be nice to my brother and sister!  I won't complain anymore!  ANYTHING!  Just let it fall out!"  I hated losing teeth.  It was gross and disgusting to me.  What was worse was that I put off pulling this one so long it was now turning blue.  uh-oh.

Mayhaps prayers were answered.  As I lay on the downstairs couch peacefully watching television, my father snuck up behind me.  Armed with pliers, he popped the little sucker right out of my skull.  Did I freak out?  Of course I freaked the eff out.  But what was done was done.  Sigh of relief.

BUT WAIT, the sicko wanted more.  He had the taste of popping teeth and must've decided he liked it.  He went on to the next one.

"It's not even loose!"  I tried to scream.


Wiggle.  Wiggle.

Wiggle.  Wiggle.  Wiggle.


Let's just say I sulked a bit after this incident.  And vowed to myself I would never tell my parents I had a loose tooth again.  ...barring any blue-ness giving me away...

So now you have both the reason I have one crooked front tooth and a deep fear of loose teeth.  I have also already been told Coop has 'really crowded teeth'.  My brain, while happy for the kid, also went immediately to "dear God!  braces!  money!  appointments!  frazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzled."

I put on quite the excited mommy face:  "That is awesome, Coop!  Time to eat some apples!"

Time to freak the eff out.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Five For Friday

It has been a pretty good week here at the Awesome abode.  And I mean that sincerely.  And I like when I can mean that sincerely.  Here are some odds and ends of the week:

1.  We turned the freaking heat on, okay.  OKAY?!  Geesh.  Pretty good, I think.  My goal was to make it to December 1st and here we are at the 9th.  It's funny what you can get used to though... yesterday as the temperature reached 68 in the house both the Hubs and I complained it was getting too damn hot and had to knock it down a bit.  I think we're (I say 'we', isn't that cute?) going to try plastic wrapping the windows.  I've heard great things about it and that it really is efficient.  I'm just wondering... how it looks.  do I care?  Suppose not.

2.  Michelle Duggar was the big ol' story on Twitter yesterday and I decided to check into it.  It had just come out that she had miscarried her twentieth child.  It was positively scathing.  Terrible.  Left and right people had tweeted horrible things about how 'she deserved it' or 'it was coming' or that it 'was a good thing'.  What???  Who deserves this?  A miscarriage.  Does it really affect these people's lives how many children she has?  Ridiculous.  This is a soapbox I have to step down from or the whole post could be about this.  I could seriously punch people that say asinine things like this.

3.  I am going to work today.  This pisses me off.  The chicky I was supposed to massage Tuesday called me... at 2:30... as I was in the shower... getting ready... to meet 3:15.  It was a 2 hour time slot.  She left me with no time to fill the damn space.  I get paid peanuts filing or whatever at the office compared to what I get paid to massage.  Nevermind I had to move 4 kids schedules all over the damn place to be ready by said time, but Hubs missed out on overtime because he had to be home with the kids.  So today, once again... (because monetarily, she has me by the short hairs...) I must meet with her to get this damn massage done.  Moral of the story:  there are reasons people charge 'no show' fees when you don't give 24 hours notice for missed appointments.  I should...or at least, the doc I work for should... although I'd see none of it.  Anyway, if you make an appointment with someone, freaking show up... you never know what they've done just to be with you.  PSA complete.

4.   Max got so mad this week that he literally broke a window.  He was asking for something that he just wasn't getting... I forget what it was... but its at the point with his temper that you just don't want to have to tell him no.  Of course you have to, but lordy, do the repercussions SUCK.  So on Wednesday, when I said something like, "no, you can't have a tenth banana" or something just as obviously a no...  he freaks and just begins slamming his hand on our fragile, fragile... thin, rickety, old, single-paned windows.  ...And crack.  What the hell are you so mad about, TWO YEAR OLD?  Budget getting on your nerves?  Mortgage due?  Car shit the bed?  What could be irritating you so badly that you burst into rages so many dang times a day??  Sigh.

5.  We are kicking ass, home school style.  I've decided it all runs in cycles.  By 'all' I mean, any damn thing you can think of.  Life.  In the case of home school, there are just some really bad weeks sometimes when everybody wants to throw in the towel.  Then there are some weeks where we are all kicking asses and taking names.  Math?  Bam.  rocked it.  Phonics?  Done and done.  Spelling?  what spelling?  finished it.  I will relish this moment... now that I've discovered the cycle.

Welp... if you've noticed, I've joined 'Top Mommy Blogs'.  Every time you visit me, if you'd click the little button you could make my ego swell a bit.  I like to have my ego swelled...  (tee, hee.)

Have an rockin' weekend.  We will.  I'm back to hard-core organizing.  Last week was the shit in the organizing department.  (Odd where we get our kicks once we're older 'eh?)

Sing to Me, Eddie.

The moment was like some bright beacon calling from a distant shore.  Angels sang.  Planets aligned.  Dogs and cats played peacefully together.  Eddie Vedder could be heard whispering from a far corner, "Damn, you are Awesome." (with some guttural "yeeeeeeeeeeeah...")

"Mom.  If 4+4 = 8 and 8-4 = 4, then all those numbers are related."

Maybe the average teacher is used to hearing epiphanies like this one, but me, just some regular ol' person...  It's still magic.  You can preach and preach, but until they figure it out for themselves, it's really all just talk.   If I hadn't decided to home school, I would have given these moments to someone else.  That wasn't one of our original reasons for home schooling, but it's become one of the biggest.  The first time I experienced "a moment" was last year when Coop, after working on phonics for several weeks, uttered, "lllll....ah....guh.... LOG!" and from there we were off and reading.  I'm not going to lie, on top of having a comfortable environment for the children to learn and stretch out in... I really get off on the fact I taught someone to read.

I don't mean to make it all sound easy though.  Most days are tough.  Crazy tough.  And if you're smart, you don't have 3 other kids under the age of 3 getting into stuff while the 6 year old is schoolin'.  But when the epiphanies do come sporadically and far between, every tough day is just so worth it.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011


Happy St. Nicholas' Feast Day... eh, yesterday!  Each year (on December 6th) I have the kiddos put their little shoes underneath the tree so St. Nick can put a little somethin' somethin' in 'em over night.  When I was little and in CCD at church my youth director would do the same thing while we sat in class.  It would always be a surprise that we'd get to take off our shoes and find out what was in them outside the door at the end of class.  I remember always hoping my shoes weren't too stinky...makes for some gross candy.  Anyway, it's a tradition in Germany and something fun to do with the kids when they feel like Christmas JUST WON'T COME FAST ENOUGH.  I always like to add that the Jolly Saint will probably be checking in on their behavior when he gets here...  I use whatever I can.

And so, like any good mother... my kids feasted on
chocolate for breakfast this morning.

Meanwhile, we'll keep taking links off our Advent chain day-by-day and eating a little more chocolate from our countdown calendars each night.  It beats answering the question, "WHEN IS CHRISTMAS GOING TO BE HERE???!" every 5 minutes.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Just Get Your Ass In the Car

In the drama where I have my computer in my room, which is really no drama at all, I had a bad experience last night.  This situation puked all over my Sunday morning and quite nearly ruined my whole day for me.  I guess it wasn't really about the computer, but was definitely fueled by the thing.

I was warm and snuggly in my bed when the small green light on the CPU began blinking.  It was around 1:00am because I MUST watch SNL every Saturday at least for a bit because I've watched it ever since I... have been watching TV.  What is normally such a tiny and insignificant light appears really GINORMOUS in the dark of 1am.  I should enter here that I am the lazy type of person that, while so bothered by the light, could not bear the thought of exposing my arm to turn off the computer.  (I also wait until the very last moment to get up to pee when all cozy in my bed.  Now that is lazy.)  I think on some subconscious level, this blinking light destroyed my Saturday night sleep.  The 6:45am alarm was just... ridiculous.  I think my lack o'sleep did not bode well on an already volatile situation.

I am not sure if its this way for all gals or maybe just me.  I hope I'm not alone in this one, but getting ready to go somewhere is torture.  Maybe it is because I stay at home most of the week and feel pressured to 'show good face' on Sundays when we go to church.  When I go to work on Tuesdays, its scrubs and ponytail time... no biggie.  But Sunday morning INFURIATES me.  I can't find anything to wear.  My face, due to ridiculous overwhelming acne, appears to be rotting off my skull.  And my hair hasn't been 'did' in months.  I know they are probably not... I hope they are probably not... but I imagine people saying, "Poor dear, motherhood has really taken a toll on her".  To top all of this off, the newest priest at the church I attend has decided the catechism teacher should walk all the way down the aisle to meet the children IN FRONT of the entire church at the beginning of mass.  My youth director laughs at the fact he has requested this because she knows I hate nothing more than walking in front of people.  Anyhoo...  back to my face rotting...  I wish I could scream, "FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THIS.  I HAVE ACNE."  ...not a very good excuse I suppose.  There's also these four minions we must get ready every Sunday morning at the ass-crack of dawn.  They too must look overwhelmingly decent, lest my fellow church goers realize I just don't care about appearances.  And so, my family got to enjoy a nice little bitch fit and icy mood once we finally got into the car (late).

(I guess I don't give my church peers much credit.  We're all there for one reason right?  I hope God doesn't care what I look like.) 

Anyway, where am I going with this?  I don't know.  I wish I could wear my new Pearl Jam Zombie shirt to church with my black Converses.  This may kill two birds with one stone:  something comfy to wear plus they may ask me to NOT teach preschoolers due to my questionable t-shirts.  The acne though... the acne kills me. I do not have any recollection of any worries of pimples in high school.  I enjoyed amazingly clear skin.  None of that after-school-special oh-my-god-I-have-a-pimple-on-picture-day drama.  But THIS?  This adult skin?  Fuck you, adult skin.

I read a tiny little tweet today by a pal.  Such a little thing to make me feel slightly better about the whole omg-its-church-time-again situation.  It read:  I hate doing my hair and makeup. Boys are so lucky. They just clean their genitals and they are ready to go. #unfair.  It made me feel a tad bit better, like I'm not alone.  I guess the whole getting ready for church thing is just my growing pains again...  who am I?... well dressed, put together mom or just me, jeans-birkenstocks-tshirt-just-get-your-ass-in-the-car... gal.  I guess I'll stick with the latter... with a little less acne, please.

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Weekend Tid Bits

I told him to make a face explaining how he feels about 'History'... for some reason I do not believe him...

At what age do kids begin all looking at the camera and sitting still at the SAME time when a picture is taken?  Any chance of sending out Christmas pictures is doomed 'til then.

Babies turn into kids WAY too fast.

Friday, December 02, 2011

Five For Friday

I am growing more and more concerned about EMF readings in my bedroom.  Ghost Hunters has taught me well...  There are so many electronics in my room... so many blinking lights...  The Hubs has moved me to the side of the bed with the computer.  If I begin seeing ghosts and that douche bag Zak Bagans shows up, Ima kill myself.

Barring anything that exciting happening... here's my weekly wrap up...

1. We still haven't turned the heat on.  MUAHAHAHAHA!... take THAT natural gas company.  The nights have been freaking cold, but then again we've been all snuggly in our blankies.  Once we get past the chilly mornings, it's been just fine.  But then I did find this lurking when I woke up this morning:

Yeah.... I think he's trying to prove a point.  But what could it be?  WHAT COULD IT BE?  I have a sneaky suspicion the heat'll be coming on this weekend. The Hubs has also mentioned building a fire.  in the fireplace.  for the first time.  since we moved in nearly 5 years ago.  This makes my anxiety.... anxious.  Hate to burn down the house...

2.  The Bro finally watched the Walking Dead.  He was the world's last hold out.  See his take here:  Zombie Apocalypse:  The Walking Dead Review.  I don't think I agree with much of it...  but it is an interesting take on things.  I'm a sucker for all things zombie.  With a little drama mixed in... magic.  That's not how he saw things.

3.  The damn resume has been written.  Now it just needs to be sent... places.  When I was younger and was ready for a new job, (uh, like twice... cause lets face it, I've been at the same damn office for almost 12 years now) I just wrote myself up a cute little resume and went out and got another job.  BAM.  Done.  Now there's this sucky economy thing to deal with.  On top of that there's just a few minor details...  kids, health insurance, fsa's, life insurance, babymamas, location, BILLS.  It's enough to make a person stay at a sucky job just to not have to deal with all the baggage and shit that has to be sorted through and decided on when looking for or getting a new job.  Step by step is the only way I suppose.  But the resume writing process was much easier with The Bro's help.  All was said and done Friday morning while watching TV for an hour or so.  Sigh.  of.  relief.  I hate those things.

4.  My Coop took a spelling test today and aced it.  Now, you lay people may think, "so what?  aren't you there right beside him?"  Well no.  I mean, yeah... but it doesn't work like that.  He still has to prove he's gained the knowledge.  We take our tests pretty seriously.  He beamed when he was done.

Needless to say, I was impressed.  Day by day, I do believe this homeschool stuff is... working!

5.  I heard owls talking to each other last night.  It doesn't seem news worthy, I know.  I always find it so effing cool though.  And always, no matter what time it is I wake the Hubs up and declare, "Huzzahh!  I hear owls!  Isn't it amazing!" and he gives me enough, "that is just really swell" to make me do it again next time.  Have I mentioned The Hubs wakes up around 3:30am to go to work?  Who else am I going to tell when I hear owls?  Well, now I've told you people.  I just KNEW you'd find it as amazing as I!  You DID, right?

Happy, happy weekend, ya'll.

Thursday, December 01, 2011


I just read this to Coop a bit ago...  a little bit of Shel Silverstein is good for ya, no matter what the age.  This one is from his newest book Everything On It.


The Yesees said yes to anything
That anyone suggested.
The Noees said no to everything
Unless it was proven and tested.
So the Yesees all died of much too much
And the Noees all died of fright.
But somehow I think the Thinkforyourselfees
All came out all right.

Ah. Mouse Hand.

I am learning to think outside the box.  For instance I'm coming to you from my boudoir.  I'm sure this is nothing new for you lucky people with laptops, but its totally new for me considering I have a big ol' stone-age desktop.  Well, I don't want to be rude to the ol' thing.  (Sorry, Comp.)  It works just fine I suppose for what I have to do... (side note:  the Printer and I are not currently getting along.  at.  all.  and this sucks for all the copies of crap I need or pictures I've wanted to scan for you... I digress...) 

Anyhoo...  If you haven't seen my room... and if you are not part of an extremely select few... you have NOT... I will describe it for you:

big bed.  papers.

Welp, that pretty much sums it up.  I am stuck in a paper rut.  It's all just sitting there, rotting on my dresser and different corners of my bedroom.  I need a shredder somethin' fierce.  Bills.  Painted kid pics.  Glittered kid pics.  Important records.  ...even the humongous binder Egleston gave us when Max had his heart surgery about two years ago.  Do I need it?  No.  Do I just throw it away?  ...I guess so?

Anyway...  so because of lack-o-room, we've set this monstrous thing up on a side lamp table.  I wouldn't have thought of it, but the Hubs brought it up.  My problem was this... I have 4 monkeys that run around screaming and getting into shit CONSTANTLY.  CONSTANTLY.  To find time to blog, pay bills, stare at Facebook (necessities, right?) was becoming impossible.  The computer was in the basement beside the older kids' room.  This also meant I couldn't use it if they were 'sleeping' because they would bug the hell out of me.  Thus my Hubs came up with the idea of squishing it into my bedroom.  I think I am...  loving it!  One huge bonus is that I am not freezing my ass off as I am in the warm main part of the house! 

I look forward to meeting two goals...  blogging more often and cleaning my damn room up... I can't keep staring at this junk! 

I'm going to start thinking outside the box on a lot of other things.  What else am I doing that is ridiculous?  Where am I losing time or what else am I working 'harder-not-smarter' on?  Often I do things because it 'should be done that way'.  What if They walk in and there is a guinea pig in the middle of the kitchen?  I can't tape the kids' pictures all over the walls because They wouldn't decorate that way...  I think about They a lot regarding house decor or homeschooling or even what I wear.  Who the hell is They???  I haven't met 'em, but I worry a lot about Them.  Ridiculous.  (Maybe They is Oprah?  Martha Stewart?  hmm...)

Look forward to hearing from me a lot more often.  I can feel my mouse hand again!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Tourette's Guffaws.

Are ya just itchin' for a Tourette's update??  Of course you are!  Here we go.

I don't know which day it was last week, but it seems that all in a day things got a little freaky here at the Awesome Abode.  It is said and I have researched (that crazy Google habit I have) that siblings are far more likely to have Tourette's Syndrome when one of them has been diagnosed.  What does this mean?  Does it mean that the parents are far more likely to see anything as a symptom?  Maybe.  But before I put myself out there to look like a mama with nothing better to do than diagnosis each kid with Tourette's every day, allow me to say that if you were in my shoes you would do the same.  If for no other reason, entertainment purposes??  The Hubs and I had a good long villian-in-a-crappy-movie guffaw over it last night.  Ok, ok... lemme tell you why.  Last week, at some point, Max woke up and decided to blink.  Uncontrollably.  Constantly.  It doesn't hurt anyone of course, thank God... but it sure does look kinda funny.  I have read that facial movements are often the first symptoms of Tourette's.  Namely, "motor tics".  The fact that Coop has twirled his hair since he was three was one of the shoe-ins at the neurologist.  We used to laugh (with him, not at him?) when we'd try to take his picture and he could not let go of his hair.  In fact, I took a Bible School pic with me to the neuro to prove the timeline.  Apparently, it's really all about timelines.  Looking back, I would have loosened up a whole hell of a lot more with the hair twirling.  In fact, The Hubs used to keep poor Coop's head shaved.  ...That seems just cruel now.  To bring it all around... that's why I don't get on to Z when he hums.  constantly.  If the kid is awake, he is humming.  Three year olds hum, right?  Of course they do... but as a mom of a kid with Tourette's I have to wonder.  And I have to wonder, if I get on to him for humming for the third hour straight...will I feel badly later if he's diagnosed?  sigh.

Isn't that a vision of my crazy homeschooling household?  Humming from at least two kids most times, blinking, twirling...  Somewhere along the line I must have prayed for patience and was sent a pretty stern lesson.

And so there you have it.  I believe I will have a total of three kids with Tourette's.  woot.  woot.  My hold out is Lola.  Tourette's is not as likely in girls... but we shall see, right?

Back to our guffaw.  Last night on 'Parenthood', a couple of idiots lost their child with Aspergers.  As in, he walked out the door and they couldn't find him.  At the end of the show, the couple says something like, "Oh my God, we lost a kid today."  I turned to the Hubs and said, "Geez, what are our odds, we have double the kids they do..."  The Hubs said something to the point of, "But how could we lose them if they're always making so much noise?"  I followed that up with, "I guess it's kinda like putting a bell on a cat... or three..."  Guffaws ensued.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Schoolin, Cleanin, Breathin.

I be coming to you from my trashed, trashed home.  I'm on my third load of laundry and... haven't gotten to the hampers yet...  as in, I have dug them out, but haven't washed the clothes that actually stayed in the hamper and did not vomit forth onto the bathroom floor or hallway.  My kitchen is disgusting.  My kids are still in jammies.  My guest bathroom smells a bit like a gas station bathroom.  I more or less took last week off and it was TERRIFIC.  But like any job/career/occupation...  my inbox has heaped itself, ceiling bound.  I've been working all morning, I swear...  but no stranger could tell, that's for sure.

Monday brings a day I usually look forward to, but actually do nothing with.  Tuesday is trash day and I always think, "THIS IS IT!  I'm cleaning EVERYTHING out.  EVERYTHING must go."  By the time I get to The Great Overhaul, I am usually too pooped, or forget all together... leaving only the things that were thrown out over the week to actually make it down the hill in the trashcan.  I have a curious problem this week, one I keep consciously reminding myself to not bitch about.  I can't find anything in my fridge or pantry, nothing fits, nothing is empty enough to throw out.  All blessings, really.  Last week I honestly wondered how the hell I was going to afford anything for Thanksgiving, this week I bitch I have too much... fickle much?  This week seems to be the perfect week to start Once-A-Month cooking with the 200 pounds of turkey I have left over.  I looked at the Hubs last night and said, "I'm not eating one more bite of this turkey until it turns into something else."  ...I'm thinking "cassoulet".

Today was kind of a sad day.  Back to regular ol' life.  Schoolin'.  Cleanin'.  Deep breathin'... as I am alone with these heathen children again.  It was so fun last week having the Hubs off and the family in.  But it all did give me a fresh perspective and enough rest to take it all back up again.

The countdown to Christmas begins!

Monday, November 21, 2011


I should probably put something mind blowing here... or at least mushy-squishy.  I'm not mushy-squishy.  I guess it's evident in the fact that we celebrate "Polkafest".  What the hell is Polkafest?  Keep your pants on, I'm getting there.  I'll warn you, this'll jump around a bit.

The Hubs sometimes jokingly gives me, "affection lessons".  He'll wrap my arms around him and state, "this is how you love".  He's not being serious... I hope...  but I've realized I'm a lot like my Dad in that department.  I'm not the type to wrap my arms around you and love on ya and... touch ya.  Is it ironic that I am a massage therapist?  Yes, I would agree with you.  Hubs on the other hand is just a genuinely nice guy with um, way less social awkwardness than I.  What am I getting to?  I grew up with a Navy Dad who was in no way mushy-squishy and if you knew him personally, you know that to say that this is an understatement, is, in fact, an understatement.

I won't try to capture all that is "Dad" in one blog post.  That's impossible. It's also impossible not to think of a million what ifs on the 7th anniversary of his death.  What if my four kids had ever known him?  What if he had gotten to know the Hubs a lot better?  What if he was around to give the point blank objective advice that always sucked hearing, but was pretty damn good?  What if he was still at church every Sunday with his buddies?  What if he got to take my kids to Dairy Queen for an icecream cone?  What if my Mom and Dad's house was still there as a refuge?  ... but what if he was still sick and suffering...? 

My Dad would say, "Well, you can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which comes out first"....?  Some of that sound advice you don't want to hear, but is pretty spot on. 

One of my friends still refers to my Dad as "Sir".  I guess that pretty adequately demonstrates my Dad's personality.  I don't recall my pal ever calling him "Jerry".  He commanded that kind of authority and respect.  Because of this, it was always so special to me if I told a joke or said something funny and he'd genuinely laugh.  Likewise, I once boarded a plane to St. Louis and just before stepping onto the airport curb, he gave me a hug...  one of the most awkward moments of my life, in a good way.

It's only as a parent that I've come to realize the full extent to which he sacrificed and worked for our family.  This parenting shit is hard and the choices that come along and the work that must be done is for the most part, overwhelming.  While I've established I am not "mushy-squishy"... I wish I could thank him.

So...  Polkafest.  Some of my Dad's sound advice around the death of my best friend was to leave the family alone and let them mourn.  It seemed heartbreaking.  I had been at their house quite a bit.  When Dad died, I remembered his advice regarding my best friend and realized how he would probably like to be remembered after he died.  Not a lot of pomp and circumstance, not a bunch of crying and "carrying-on".  As a kid and even now I know more polkas than you can shake a stick at...  a very odd gift here in 2011.  Dad played 'em everywhere and loved 'em.  He also loved bratwurst, sausages and any other over the top fattening Octoberfest type fare you can think of.  After balling my eyes out on Dad's first death anniversary I decided it certainly didn't help and didn't make me feel any better.  Why not celebrate the fact that he doesn't have to battle cancer any more ('Fuck Cancer' should be the ACS's motto, I'm convinced) and that he lived a great life.  Every year my family plays polka music, eats bratwurst, saurkraut, pierogies and just... smiles.  We've chosen to celebrate.  The last thing he'd want is any "belly achin'". 

So here's to you Dad.  Happy Polkafest. 

Friday, November 18, 2011

Five For Friday

I am running out of steam this week.  It's been a doozy... I probably won't present five amazing things, but five things nonetheless.

1.  Turkey Day is upon us.  I am not prepared.  At all.  Whatsoever.  I usually have most of the shopping done by now.  The last thing I wanted to do was shop with all the other crazies the weekend before the holiday... but so it goes.  We have family coming down and we're all really excited.  The Hubs is off the whole week too.  We aren't doing anything that would look too exciting to the outside world, but it will be amazingly good for this family to just at least have a change of pace.  A pause button would be nice.  I'll gladly take this though. 

2.  Lola says "nom, nom, nom" when she eats.  Just like Cookie Monster.  This is good for a laugh whenever I need one.

3.  I freaking hate writing resumes.  The Hubs needs one.  (Don't panic, we haven't lost any of our jobs, we're just ready to make life better and slightly more convenient... say, by having only one really good job...hrmph.)  You'd think we would just keep the old resumes we've constructed before, but I've seen hide nor hair of 'em... so I guess we'll just have to re-invent the wheel.  Resumes suck.  You know you're amazing, but you don't want to brag, but it's gotta be perfect, but it's gotta actually portray what you do every.  single.  day and make it look like that's really worth something.  I HATE writing them.  rant done. (I do like reading them though and making fun of them when we get them at the office... just saying... it's fun to be on the other side)

4.  Are you watching Walking Dead?  Because you SHOULD be.  Everyone else is doing it, you should too.  Damn, I love Zombies.  Like, big love.  And before it becomes all the rage and ridiculous like the the whole stupid vampire thing... let me just state that I love Zombies and I've loved 'em for a long time.

5.  Last week my shy kid got on a horse.  He rode it for five minutes then decided he was done.  I thought this was the milestone until later I caught him riding the horse again... this time the lady at the petting zoo had to tell him to give the horse a break!  It sounds small, but it was a proud moment. 

Well, I warned ya.  Not amazing...  but it is what it is!  Have a great weekend.  If you're out and about with all the other crazies like me, good luck!  and don't lose your cool.  ...just throw 'bows like I do.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Death to the Siesta

I've done something dumb.  Or brilliant. Or both.  sigh.

I have believed in "The Siesta!" here at the house for years.  Preaching it.  Touting it to my friends.  Every kid down for a nap every day!  Until they are 18!  Everyone needs quiet whether you sleep or not!  This AMAZING nap time ensures I will get at least 3 hours (3?!  wha?) to myself everyday.  This is the time I choose to eat bonbons and watch muh stories.  (Wrong.  I scrub toilets and fold clothes and one million small things).  BUT.

Something has gone awry.

These heathens are growing up.  Lola is getting into stuff like a Tasmanian devil.  Max is nuts.  Z constantly wants to play.  I don't know how to get everyone to settle down enough to thoroughly teach a Cooper in 4 hours a day what he needs to survive at Life.  Enter my 3 hour heaven.  hmph. 

Things are running a bit smoother now.  Handwriting and a catechism activity in the morning while chaos ensues, Phonics, Math, Spelling and Vocabulary during naptime.  It works so much better because he can look into my eyeballs and know I'm paying attention and not chasing monkeys.  In the evening while I'm making dinner we pick up any little pieces we may have missed.  I'm just having an interesting time now trying to not put History on the backburner all the dang time.  Coop's just not that into it and its so easy to just... not do it.  I'm tired of worrying about History.  (Or Science...  but I think I'll tackle that during the summer...)

Giving up my precious alone time hasn't been too hard, I guess.  It's actually begun flowing pretty well.  I'm still working out the kinks.  Coop walked up to me this morning with a Goosebumps book and said, "I'd like to read this, but when do I have quiet time now?"  I hung my head.  sighed.  twisted my face.  rolled my eyes.

"I dunno. I'll figure it out."

Friday, November 11, 2011

Five for Friday

Oh, the mis-adventures of another week behind us.

1.  First off... I'm not turning the heat on, damnit.  Yes, it is literally freezing here in the south.  I am accustomed to warm temperatures and therefore NOT accustomed to larger than necessary gas bills.  SO.  I'm standing my ground.  I am crazy cold natured.  Which is why the Hubs commented the other day that I will 'cave' before long.  Wrong.  My wallet trumps my comfort.  Sad?  Sure.  But just like I torture family and guests during that awkward time at the end of spring and into the summer with no air conditioning, I am not turning on the heat 'til at least December.  (I do believe the 3rd toe on my left foot is now dead due to frost bite, but damnit.  I am sticking to my guns.)

2.  Speaking of the heat or lack thereof, it has made me look for resourceful ways to heat the house.  For instance, I am currently automatically cleaning the oven for Thanksgiving.  No, not because I care what my family thinks of my absolutely disgusting oven, but because I thought I remembered that it usually makes the house unbearably hot.  Apparently this new-ish oven doesn't work as my last stone-age-beast did.  My 3rd toe is still dead, but the house is crazy stinky. 

3.  I am as thankful as the next gal during this time of Thanksgiving.  Now shut up about it.  I think I must have 30 facebook friends posting for the next 24 days (tell me its 24 and not the next 30...)  everything they can think of that they are thankful for.  Yes, this is my problem.... post away...  but ima just scroll on past if you don't mind.  Seems like excuses to brag sometimes. 

4.  The Hubs and I have realized lately that Z has a very intelligent and quirky sense of humor.  Example:  the other night a documentary just happened to be on PBS about 'Laugh-In'.  It was really just on as background noise...  but hey, Laugh-In is great children's television, right...?  I'm talkin to the Bro on the phone when I realize Z is not just laughing a little at the TV, he is laughing A LOT.  In all the right places.  I don't know that he understood all of it, and I'm hoping he didn't, but he hit all the right queues.  This happens a lot.  The kid has a great laugh and its always been one of his best qualities.  He can follow a joke like no other.

5.  I may have never been a guest blogger on another blog, but I was written about on one today.. does that count as awesome?  I'll let you judge: Cliche Little Blog.  I liked this article for two reasons.  1 - it boosted my self esteem somehow.  I knew we lived life this way, but when people can tell from an objective point of view that the choices you have made are positive ones, it kinda kindles the spirit.  The Hubs and I have been talking a lot lately about 'would-we-be-different-if-we-had-money' sort of situations.  I think we've decided we hope not... we kinda like our Poor and Resourceful attitude.  (Dear God, please do not take this to mean we would not love a little more some cushion in our world.  Amen.)  2 - It's always nice to remember that money is not what makes the world go 'round.  There are days that I think we could argue against that, and the days have been many lately it seems.  Focus, focus, focus. 

well... going to go try to bring my dead toe back to life...  besides, it seems my mouse hand is going the way of the toe.  brr.  Happy Weekend!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Eff Baths.

I hear a lot, "you know, you should take time for yourself, take a hot bath or something."  This is usually from well meaning patients at the office.  I usually reply with, "yeah, so anyway..."  Here is the perfect scenario that occurred last night to demonstrate my whatever attitude when it comes to 'relaxing'.

I don't do baths.  I usually only take 'em when I need to shave my legs and I'm too damn lazy to stand up to do it.  TMI?  you're welcome.  Last night was one of those nights.  Coop has picked a book from the library that is 359 pages long.  While the Hubs and I are glad he's so into books, we realize that we are the narrators and we are too tired by whatever time people finally begin to fall out around the house.  Luckily, last night Daddy was chosen as reader du jour and I was off the hook.  I am relishing the fact I may have mmm... 10 minutes? to myself.  It was at minute three that I heard a rustling at the door.  I assumed it was either a lost squirrel or a child that had wandered from his bed.  I whispered, "Z, is that you?"  No answer.  Louder:  "Z, is that you?"

"Hey, mom!  Why's your mirror so dusty??"

I know from this side of the door he's standing beside the full length mirror on the other side of the door.  I am a mom.  I know he has not come to ask about my dusty mirror.

"What are you doing, Z?"


more silence.

Finally, "Mom, will you wipe my butt??"

Sigh.  To someone with no kids, this probably sounds bizarre and grotesque.  Me?  Totally used to it.  I sat there.  Sometimes I honestly think, "DAMNIT!  Why me!?"  But this time my brain reminded me of a lull in silence much earlier in the day.  Over the den of little people climbing everywhere and screaming, I heard Z say to Coop, "You're a good bruder, Coop.  I wike you a wot".  Ah.  warm fuzzies.  "Ok. I can wipe your butt.  Just give me a moment... AND GET BACK IN YOUR BATHROOM."  (This was followed by a lecture about lessons in wiping his own dang butt.)

I came back to my nice warm bath and savored a moment... then another voice came to the door.  This time I yelled, "What do YOU want?!"  Coop says quietly, "When you get done, can you come downstairs and give me a kiss and hug?"


"Yes, give me a moment."

Eff baths.

I guess sleeping is my "me" time?

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Pictures, Part I

Welp, I said I'd do it, so I'm gonna.  This is just a sneak peak at the pictures taken at Lola's birthday.  I've probably looked at them 10 times already today.  If ya don't know me personally, this may just be a very boring entry.  You'll get over it.


You'll probably notice I know nothing of picture placement or formatting....  Yes, I considered having people sign a waiver saying they wouldn't breathe a word if they noticed things from Pinterest.  At least I can say I've done more than just gawk at The Pinterest!

This was just one of the best days.  It was a sacrifice to have someone there to take pictures, but I am still so glad we did it.  I think I'll just be pleased forever.  We've got amazing pictures to look back on.  I can't wait 'til he brings the disc!!

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Now, Tell Me Party People, Is That So Wrong?

This just happened a few minutes ago...  it will help to demonstrate the... quirkiness... of my family.  (I've been trying to take 'weird' out of my vocabulary... as it is used often around these parts.) 

Z really wanted some chicken nuggets for lunch.  He didn't understand why I couldn't just "make them".  We make a lot of stuff from scratch.  I tried to explain to the crowd that I just don't have any chicken.  "Well, then make some!" they said.  I tried to explain that a chicken is a chicken is a chicken.  How had this gotten past them?  I explained that a chicken is an animal and without one I can't just whip up nuggets. "How do they kill them?  Do they shoot them?" Coop asked.  "I dunno" I said, "I think they just cut off their heads or something.  It's really a gory process."

Z, the three year old, pipes up with, "Oh!  Just like Body Movin'!"

It took me a moment.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Five For Friday

I survived the week.  This surprises me.

1.  By the time Coop reads to the R.E.A.D dog, Lucy, at the library tomorrow, we will have been there 3 times in the last 3 days.  People are starting to talk to me there like I am a fixture.  I wonder if the librarian looks at me and says to herself, 'there's that poor baseball cap wearin' mama.'  (By the way... don't ever dress up for storytime.  It makes the other moms irritated.  ...maybe that's just me...)

2.  My kids are caught up on vaccines.  This may seem normal to uh, normal people.  For me, this could very well be the first time my kids have ever been all caught up.  It's rough with four kids.  And those freaks... the office ladies... always expecting copays!  The nerve.  It's all fun and games when you have just one kid.  It's fun to show off your amazing parenting skills and receive gold stars from the pediatrician for being so on time and being so damn awesome.  (They really should give out gold stars or cookies... it may entice me...)  But alas, once there are four and especially when you don't have kids in school and more especially when you are just too tired...  what a hassle!  But it's done.  Yay, me.

3.  I am glad to be done with Halloween!  I am sick of wondering what last minute thing I have forgotten regarding costumes, parties and decorating.  Let us move on to Thanksgiving.  More details to forget!  Here's my peeps trick-or-treatin':

We didn't shop for a single article of costume-wear this year.  We're such dress-up junkies that we furnished everything right out of our very own dress-up box.  My personal favorite was Maximus, the ogre.  No other costume suited a kid so well.

4.    I have fallen amazingly behind in Homeschooling.  Monday, I said, "Hey! that's why we homeschool!" and took a day off to get things done.  I said the same thing Tuesday.  And then Wednesday too.  We did accomplish a bit yesterday...  I think the down time has done us some good.  I'm actually re-evaluating our schedule.  I'm thinking we go full-on year round with more breaks.  I've seen other big bloggin' families doing the same thing.  We learn all year round...  I'll just mark my attendance accordingly.  Now that I've done this for a bit, why not stretch out and get comfy? 

5.  OMG.  Cloth diapers.  I began that trip about 3 months ago... maybe 4?  The water bill just crept up on me.  I didn't notice it so much in previous months, but the last bill I got made me get the Hubs to go checking for leaks!!  What's the freaking answer??  I don't have the luxury of caring for the Earth.  I'd like to be all tree-huggin', but I just can't afford it!  We're back to 'sposies' to see if the bill goes down.  I'm still doing cloth wipes because I can feel the savings with those, but diapers?! I feel like it's just another way for somebody to make money off of me.  One way or the other, Ima pay somebody for my kids' poop.  Sucks. 

So there's you're weekly wrap up.  I don't have pictures yet of Lo-lo-lo-lo-loooooo-lah's birthday, but my friend posted this today: 

I thought it was a pretty cute pic!

Happy weekend!

Monday, October 31, 2011

you-can't-see-my-trashed-house-and-this-party-feels-awesome high

My brain is in perpetual blog mode.  (It's okay if you just said, 'man, that's sad.' to yourself.  I'm okay with it)  I'm constantly writing a new entry in my head.  It's just that... circa 10am I'm beat and just not feeling wordy or... type-y.  Anyhoo... last night I went to bed thinking, 'Damn! This was just one of my happiest days ever!  Ima blog about it!' and then....  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Yesterday we had Lola's first birthday party.  I just think I stumbled on one of the greatest ideas known to man.  (Forget the wheel or computers...)  Once I took one step onto the pavilion the Hubs and I rented, I told him 'I don't know how this is going to go, but I'll tell ya from here I'll never have another party at the house.'  It was just gorgeous... it overlooked the fall colors and a little lake.  And while I looked at all the gorgeous-ness I knew that in the cooking and baking process I had trashed our house beyond oblivion, but no one else would see it...  bwah ha ha ha!  (evil laugh.) 

As each friend walked up I just wanted to pinch their cute cheeks and say, 'thank you!  thank you!'  Maybe I was on some weird you-can't-see-my-trashed-house-and-this-party-feels-awesome high, but each individual who was there was just so important to me and I was genuinely glad they had come.  It was good to be with my gals and talk and mingle and be in the fresh air.  All the food came out tasty (except the pumpkin seeds as my Sica pointed out...) and I was just really proud of our little moment.

Wouldn't you like to see pictures of the whole thing??  Me too!!  I'm dyin over here.  My bud took pictures of the whole thing and I've yet to see 'em!  I'm freaking out.  I want them!  We all have proof here that I do not take good pictures.  You can blame my lack o'talent, but ima blame my bad camera, mmkay?  Anyway, the bud is a professional picture-taker and just the few pics he showed me blew me away.  I'll share 'em with you peeps just as soon as I can.  Oh, I get giddy just thinking of them!

So today is back to 'normal'... minus the fact that the Hubs decided to take a flying leap down our stairs yesterday while lugging a cooler.  I am pretty awkward during serious moments.  For some reason I kept picturing an Alvin and the Chipmunks from my childhood where Dave fell down the stairs because of a toy (our culprit? ...a tiny car).  I wanted to giggle while he was writhing in agony... glad I kept that to myself.  He's at the chiropractor presently and will probably be sore for the next few days.  Always something, right?  The house is still a bit trashy, but I'm feeling energized just from being around people and socializing yesterday (that sounds really sad too...).  It's all coming around, but I want to just marinate in the holiday a little longer. 

If you're following the whole lets-count-calories! thing...  I have waaay too many cookies in the house this week and Ima pop em like potato chips.  so...  well, I'll get there.

Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Fatty McFat Fat

The only way for me to get anything done on a permanent basis is to take it step by step.  For instance...  say, my weight makes me want to puke...  well, not my weight per se, but this amazing baby pouch that does not flatter jeans... or yoga pants, or shirts, or sweaters, or sweatshirts, or skirts, or cargo pants, or... 

So, knowing myself and the budget we're on and the fact that the kids won't sit around and eat salads with me and just a million other details that factor into anything I do... I've decided to change things (broad, but we're speaking broadly) one step at a time.  About three weeks ago, suffering from daily headaches, I decided to take caffeine out of my diet.  Yes, you are right, you normally get headaches when you are used to having caffeine...  I had been drinking A LOT of it though.  (No, I still had the very occasional Coke... are you crazy??)  The headaches went away a bit, but I also chalked it up to hormones and girlie things.  Anyway, it got me thinking... why don't I improve my world one weird thing at a time on a weekly basis?  But minus pressure...  I didn't want to proclaim, "I AM ON A DIET!" only to feel like crap once it didn't work out.  The following week I began drinking more water.  Guess what... headaches subsided.  Mayhaps I had just been dehydrated...  which makes me feel like a dumbass.  Last week I decided to get back on to

I had been counting calories there for a few months and guess what... it worked!  duh.  But this is where all the factors come into play.  On our budget, we handmake a lot of stuff.  (I say we.  Isn't that cute?  It's not we.)  So instead of plugging "bread" into the calorie counter, I've gotta plug in the whole damn recipe.  That sucks.  BUT, isn't it worth it??  I truly believe in "calories in, calories out".  It's all just science and math.  I've got one life and I would rather not live it fat-ly.  thank you. 

So it's one more thing.  I'm not gonna complain about it though. Yesterday, on our Sunday that I brag about where we don't do anything and just relax, I found myself bouncing off the walls with nothing to do.  I made raisin bread.  (it was freaking kick ass.  if I could give you a sample through the computer, I totally would.)  Anyway, what I mean is, I think I'd die if I had nothing to do... it would feel too weird.  So, I'll plug calories into the computer and envision myself in a bikini by June.  (Who am I kidding... moms of 4 don't necessarily obtain bikini bodies...  even I shudder to think...)

So, in case for some reason you are fascinated by all of this, I think I'm going to give myself another week getting used to keeping up with calories.  Next week:  working out again.  Egads.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Five for Friday

It's Friday, bitches.  Here's the round-up:

1.  We have decorated for Halloween.  Because we are slightly freaky, we usually decorate more for Halloween than any other holiday.  Here's why I love Halloween decorating:  cobwebs.  Fake ones, at least.  Because fake ones mean I don't have to dust the real ones.  (right??)  They merely enhance the holiday decor, correct??  Here's something I don't get though.  Every year we have the kids' decide which paper cut-out decoration they want on their bedroom door.  Every damn year they choose the witch for MY door... why is this....  don't answer too quickly.

2.  My sister came over Wednesday unannounced and uninvited.  I liked it and it should happen more often.  I think people always expect we're 'too busy with kids' to be social-able.  This is not the case, please spread the word.

3.  Pearl Jam 20 is going to be on PBS. I am both effing psyched and totally depressed.  Pearl Jam on public television.  That's a lot to swallow.  The only music we listened to in the car when I was younger (besides polka...  no really... polka... I know all of 'em) was oldies.  I used to joke that one day NIN and the likes would be played on the local oldies station because in the future that would be our oldies.  Hard to fathom as a kid, but with PJ coming to public TV.. I feel like the future is here.  If you are a PJ geek like me, you must go HERE

4.  Happy Birthday to my best friend.  Ten years ago today he had his last birthday.  It's a downer, so I won't dwell, but it's taken me 10 years to get to a place where it doesn't hurt as bad.  So... that's enough of that.

5.  I live near Atlanta.  It.  is.  freaking.  cold.  here.  What is this???  I try to remind myself of summertime when it was too damn hot and I was begging for the cold.  Not working.  I do however love that it's fall and to some degree it feels like it.  The trees are gettin purty.  I'm hoping it still looks a bit like this for Lola's birthday in the park.  I want some phenomenal pictures!

Well, I'm off to place holds on, literally, like 50 books for Coop's history studies.  We're all about ancient Egyptians at the moment.  I'm loving it, but I think he is still just 'so-so'.  I'm hoping mummifying a chicken will help... doesn't that help nearly anything???.... 

Happy weekend.  Be sure to don a scarf.

Monday, October 17, 2011


Sundays somehow snuck in and became my favorite day.  They usually start with a too-early alarm clock followed by my wails of, "I have NOTHING to wear"... because I don't.  seriously.  I used to complain about having to teach the pre-schoolers at church too.  "Why can't anyone else do it??"  "No one is as busy as me."  "I have too many kids to fit this in.  Can't anyone see that?"  And then getting at least the six year old to sit calmly through mass...  Caging the nearly one year old.  Lord forbid if the volunteer didn't show up to do the nursery for the other two... hell hath no fury.

Over time though, it's become better.  I still have nothing to wear, but I've tried to curb that by putting together  something ridiculous to wear the night before.  (I've decided I want to dress like Ellen. That chick knows what she's doing.  I think it looks classy but casual.  and fun.)  Anyhoo...  although I still wonder why I've been chosen to fit in the preschoolers during my (lack-of) down time, sometimes having to deal with the crazy little people puts my little people into perspective.  May sound mean, but some of them make my kids' crazy behavior just... not so bad... sometimes.  And besides that, I like getting the hugs and the funny little whispers of hello from across the church.  It really isn't so hard to give 20 minutes of my time a week to 'the cause'.

We usually go for doughnuts after church.  This took some guiding...  at church they charge $1.00 for one doughnut and a juice/coffee.  ...times 5 people?  ludicrous.  Here's where budgeting edu-ma-cation comes in and now we go pick out our own on the cheap at the grocery store.  We then all sit around with the newspaper and comics and big mugs o'coffee and milk and just... chill.  After doughnuts are Hoovered in nearly no time, the boys (I include Hubs here) usually wrestle around and get silly.  Then...


for everyone.


This was all followed up yesterday by spooky house painting.

I sat back.  Took it all in.  And did... nothing.

This may sound so trivial, but I call it amazing.  I am not the most religious, but lately I've been trying to "keep holy the Sabbath".  I think God really knew what he was doing when he planned the whole Sabbath thing.  Six days out of the week we go like crazy people.  It's pure ridiculousness.  Between homeschooling, house-wife-ing (this encompasses, like 100,000 jobs) and holding down multiple ("real") jobs we usually teeter-totter right on the edge of burnout.  Sundays are necessary.  I don't do laundry.  I don't vacuum.  I don't scour.  Only the necessities.  I think everybody needs that.  Call it "Sabbath" call it "OOoga Booga" just do it.

Anyway... it's Monday again.  Usually on Sundays all peaceful with my family, I think, "Man, I could just have tons of babies."  By Monday, say.. around 8am, I don't necessarily want... 4 babies.  Well, I want them... but in straight jackets for some of the day...  just sayin.  Monday brings ya back to reality.

Here's more spooky house pics.  Have a peaceful good fine ... just have a Monday.

I found this lurking under the table while everyone was painting...

(dang dust bunnies!)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...