Friday, September 05, 2014

Five For Friday

'scu me if I offend, but... Dr. Who...?

I don't get it.

I don't need it.

My family is totally into it.  Like, right now in fact.

Moving on.

Wanna Five For Friday??  Here we go!

1.  My newly purchased homeschool books are usually in danger once a day when a small child asks me something totally off the wall and I damn near spit my coffee all over them.  It does happen often and I realize this is just the nature of having kids.  Today's handwriting lessons took me to a crazy place when out of nowhere Cooper announces, "You know, I know there is no Santa Claus."  Random.  I'm sick of dealing with the big fat man in the red suit who gets all the credit for Christmas when The Hubs and I are the ones scrounging to find just a bit of fluff in our budget to get even the smallest things.  (We hardly dealt with the guy last Christmas and followed a whole new plan... mayhaps I will tell you about it someday.)  Anyhoo... I looked the wee man in the eye and simply said, "Whatever you think you think, keep it to yourself and don't ruin the magic for everyone because that's what it all really is... magic."  He seemed to accept it.  He then proceeded to ask me the meaning of life... which is where I almost spit out my coffee.  I gave him some catechism answers, some Mother Theresa-ish answers and told him it really is up to him what the meaning of his life is...  then I wiped my brow and drank more coffee.  Kids, man.

2.  I have been trying to get Finn to sleep in his stinking big boy bed.  And I ask the child, "Don't you want to sleep in a big boy bed?" and the turd is smart enough to say, "No.  I a baby."  Smart as a whip, I tell ya.

Yesterday, in fact after chasing him every five minutes back into his little bed, he just nonchalantly came wandering back in to the kitchen... wearing a pink tutu... and wielding a small pink teapot.  "You want some, Mama?"  What do you do with that??  The clock told me to shrug my shoulders and say, "I suppose" and add some fake "nom nom nom"s.

3.  Went and met with Max's teacher today.  I said in much nicer words, "How the hell do I get this kid to settle the hell down and stop with all the violent aggressive shit!??"  I will probably dive much deeper into it later, as you people have made it loud and clear that YOU ARE ON THE AUTISM BANDWAGON.  If I have learned anything in the last seven months it is that once you are on this train, it is hard to find GOOD SOLID information that pertains to YOUR child.  I will start sharing our journey a lot more because it is relevant and you guys have told me you want to hear it.  Maybe something will slip right out of my babbling face and touch you in some way.  ... good touch, not bad touch...

4.  I was sick this week.  I FREAKING HATE BEING SICK.  What a damn hassle.  The snots, no less.  Makes me feel like I am somehow drowning inside my own body.  I can get some wicked claustrophobia, but that has to be the weirdest.

5.   I take some HUMONGOUS comfort in the fact that summer is now unofficially over.  Thank you Labor Day for reminding me that long sleeve t-shirts and pumpkin flavored everything will soon be on their way.  No more stressing over making sure we get out and do EVERY SINGLE DANG THING you are expected to do over summer... picnics, fireworks, outdoor movies.  It was nice, but I am done.  Bring on the chill.


ciao, ya'll.   Dr. Who will be over in a sec, then once again, chaos shall ensue.

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Where the Hell...?

Let's just cut to the chase.  Here's some biggies that happened in the last year:

1.  The Hubs has a job.  Thank God, right??  It's been over a year since I last posted.  He did end up impressing the competition and went full time.  Every time I hear his truck fire up I seriously say a little thank you prayer because I just love his company so much.

2.  Max has Autism.  Yes uh-huh.  That's what it is.  That thing I've wondered about for years, but people have always brushed it off and shut me down about it.  Diagnosed.  Yep, Autism.

3.  Guess who's going to have another baby.  Ha.  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  Jesus.

4.  Third grade is the first time you have to cumulatively test your homeschool kid here in Georgia.  Then every third year after that.  Coop tested at the highschool level in a lot of the subjects he was tested in.  I had to get that brag in.  Now I shall leave it alone.  But after I say, HEY THIS HOMESCHOOL THING MAY BE WORKING.

So there it is.  Let us start fresh, shall we.  None of those back-em-up-and-explain-what-we're-up-to ridiculously long posts.  That's it in a nutshell:  Autism, pregnancy, homeschool.  That pretty much sums it up.

See you soon.

No, for reals though.
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