Thirty-Something

So, the 31st birthday came and went and it was pretty dang spectacular.  Why?  I'm not quite sure, but it was fun as hell and so very simple.  I think it was my outlook on life that may have made it better.  Wait, wait!  I must show you some pretty amazingly sexy pictures of the Hubs and I consuming tasty Mexican food:

Twas fantastic.  Shrimp tacos and an insane amount of guac.  (I put all that "couch to 5K" biz on the back burner on this day weekend!)

The noshing of all things Mexicano took place after a very most fabulous Home School Expo.  I gave all my money to the Alpha Omega people so that they in turn will be sending Phonics, Reading, Math and Spelling curricula to the Awesome Sauce hacienda.

Better yet, I touched, fondled and smelled Science and Social Studies curricula all day.  I came back with nothing material, but an amazing amount of knowledge.  The Hubs gravitated toward all things geography and I gratefully handed that baton over to him, see as how it bores me to pieces.  The Coopster could look at maps all day, however.  Ah, delegating.

Here's a picture of me while my Z sings happy birthday in that cute tiny kid voice:

Gorgeous.  fo' sho'.

Need more?  Sure thing.

Just as you are considering screaming, "Enough already!"  Ima show you some pics of the herd eating b-day cake.  It's pretty funny to sit back and watch.  We eat healthy most days, and when they get their hot little hands on something like this you can just see the hypersensitivity joy bubbling up.

A really spectacular day.  Besides the fact I am no longer 30.  Now a thirty-something.  ...and there I shall stay for the next 20 years...

Wait!!!!!  Before I go, I know the Hubs would love for you to see this:

Smellin' the Crayons.

So, I'm getting out of the hizzy, fo' shizzy tomorrow.  I think I've unconsciously packed the day like nobody's business.  Everytime I think of something I need or whatever, I think "Do it Friday!  weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Friday!"  

I really can't wait to see all the home schooling nerds tomorrow.  There's only so much I can say to friends and family before their eyes glass over and you get something comparable to "wow.  that's really swell."  But tomorrow, ima be with people that LIVE home schooling.  Just so ya know, I'm also the kind that pours over the back-to-school ads and waits like a puppy at the door when expecting anything from Rainbow Resource.  When I was a kid, I just loved packing up my brand new book bag with my brand new smelly crayons, rulers, paper, pencils.. on and on.  I'm sorta still living the dream by home schooling.  I try to get the Coopster into it, but his attitude is well, a 5 year old's attitude.  ...whatever Mom.

I am having trouble with my science curriculum.  There's plenty out there that disagree, and frankly I don't wanna hear it... but DAMN! all the curriculums focus on Creation!  Maybe I'm too used to being a public school kid myself, but I just can't wrap my head around it.  What am I talking about????  Why, I will give you a very good example.. my friend Facebooked it today:

Poop. Home Schooling. Tattoos.

So, if you are following the poop chronicles, all is MUCH better.  Of course, if you couldn't eat wheat what would you eat???  I've pumped the poor kid so full of fruit that now he's poopin that!  It's fun to be me.  We I continue to journal about his eating vs. poop habits, but I think we've nipped this one in the bud butt.  Pretty sucky allergy to have.  

So the big Southeast Home School Expo is this weekend.  This just happens to coincide with my birthday on Friday.  Got a babysitter for the shindig.  Whaaaaat what????  (I'm dancing in my seat, hands flailing, booty shakin)  I seem to remember needing a coat the last time I went somewhere, just the Hubs and I.  It seems people don't want to take care of four kids at once.  (What? ya scared? chicken shit.)  I do this all day, homies.  Wait til I lay it on the sis that's babysitting that we now use cloth diapers on the youngest babe.  ha.  What's that?  You think cloth wipes are weird too???  Eh, well.  Pair all this up with the fact Maxy Pants doesn't do wheat and all I have to say is, HAVE FUN!  See ya, bye.  

So I say to the Hubs... "you know what we should do if we are actually out and about Friday??  I should get my tattoo!"  Then I had to stop myself from literally ROFL(ing) because the statement sounded ludicrous.  I don't know any other home schoolers.  In fact, I have few mommy friends.  I got the ball rolling a good 2 years before any of my friends and they just aren't within the same realm as my crazy family.  When I picture home schoolers, even though we do it ourselves, I too see the Duggars.  I'm hoping to do a great deal of stalking people watching at the Expo just to feel like we may fit into a niche somewhere.  (That last sentence sounds really depressing...) 

As for the tattoo, it probably won't happen.  I don't like when I hear people complain about money, but notice they're all inked up.  It's art, man!  hmph.  It's not in the budget.  But it's awfully fun to say outloud.

Sandy Poop!

I am, like, 95% sure Maximus Prime (above in all his glory) has a wheat allergy.  The last few weeks I decided to become a pioneer woman of sorts and make everything I possibly can.  Now, this kid has been poopin' sandy, grainy, stick to ya booty poop for weeeeeeks several times a day.  However, if you mix in homemade:  granola bars, bread, hamburger buns, ravioli, pasta, muffins, cakes, cookies, etc. it makes for a... mess.  Ima get to the gritty details (muhahaha.)  This poop is so grainy, you could use 10 disposable wipes on it and it ain't goin no where.  I switched to cloth wipes for him (no cloth diapers yet because I'd feel bad for my washer) and that just made more laundry and a very stinky situation to have pile up.  There are times he needs a bubble bath just to get the job done.  

I think I've made it relatively clear that I am no computer genius, but I've Googled "wheat allergy" in the past.  I've also Googled "lactose intolerance" and "celiac disease".  (I've become pretty good friends with our amazing pediatrician, but she does make fun of the fact that I Google EVERYTHING.)  I had told Hubs earlier in the afternoon that it just looked like he poops bread!  So last night, after changing, I dunno, 6 grainy, sandy diapers I thought, "Hey!  I'll Google [duh] 'grainy, sandy poop'."  There it 'twas...  so many parents with the same damn thing happening.  

Kid hasn't had wheat since 7 pm last night and hasn't pooped either.  Yay us.  

Of course I'll add the usual, 'everybody's different', but mayhaps you've come here because the same thing is happening to your kid... try the wheat.  I figured it's not celiac because it just doesn't seem life altering, just amazingly annoying... and tears up his butt something fierce.  I'm not going all gluten-hatin', but we're gonna stick with this wheat thing for a bit.

Shit About Blogging.

Welp, I've been reading around and figured out I don't know much, er anything, uh shit, about blogging.  This will be one of those things I look back on and go... "wow.  that really sucked"... once I've got this down pat.  First of all, my camera is the shiz...  6 years ago.  Expect no amazing pictures from me!  ...and if I did have a bunch of pictures on this here blog, well I won't for now because I don't know how to get them on here.  Secondly, I have four, sometimes five kids.  Let's just put that out there.  I get my best ideas and write it all up and get excited about this thing at approximately one in the morning most nights IN MY HEAD and have no way to get it out into the computer.  (I am still living in the 90's and using a desktop.  To further blow your mind, I will tell you I also use a Sony Walkman when working out. Yep.  90's.)  So I don't pee by myself, let alone have solid, consistent, intelligent.. thoughts.  Actually, I need to go reprimand a tiny toddler who just learned he can get out of his "big boy bed" by himself instead of taking a nap.  (Haven't gotten around to it, but would love to read, Go the F*ck To Sleep... I think I would agree with it from first to last page.)

Let's Just Get Our Feet Wet

This is my first blog in about five years.  I've thought about this thing pretty intensely for the last few weeks, writing and re-writing in my head.  It's gonna be awesome, but I need to finish the dishes... It's gonna be great, but the living room is still a mess.  If I had the chance I would write.. but... there's always something else to be done. 

So, here I am.  Everything I was going to write about has since been forgotten.  (With four kids my memory is amazingly short, like, goldfish short).  But I want to get something out there.  Honestly, I think this blog may turn into the ramblings of a crazy person.  I haven't seen anyone over the age of five today.  I love my kids, of course, duh.. but I think know I need a vacation.