Thursday, November 10, 2011

Eff Baths.

I hear a lot, "you know, you should take time for yourself, take a hot bath or something."  This is usually from well meaning patients at the office.  I usually reply with, "yeah, so anyway..."  Here is the perfect scenario that occurred last night to demonstrate my whatever attitude when it comes to 'relaxing'.

I don't do baths.  I usually only take 'em when I need to shave my legs and I'm too damn lazy to stand up to do it.  TMI?  you're welcome.  Last night was one of those nights.  Coop has picked a book from the library that is 359 pages long.  While the Hubs and I are glad he's so into books, we realize that we are the narrators and we are too tired by whatever time people finally begin to fall out around the house.  Luckily, last night Daddy was chosen as reader du jour and I was off the hook.  I am relishing the fact I may have mmm... 10 minutes? to myself.  It was at minute three that I heard a rustling at the door.  I assumed it was either a lost squirrel or a child that had wandered from his bed.  I whispered, "Z, is that you?"  No answer.  Louder:  "Z, is that you?"

"Hey, mom!  Why's your mirror so dusty??"

I know from this side of the door he's standing beside the full length mirror on the other side of the door.  I am a mom.  I know he has not come to ask about my dusty mirror.

"What are you doing, Z?"


more silence.

Finally, "Mom, will you wipe my butt??"

Sigh.  To someone with no kids, this probably sounds bizarre and grotesque.  Me?  Totally used to it.  I sat there.  Sometimes I honestly think, "DAMNIT!  Why me!?"  But this time my brain reminded me of a lull in silence much earlier in the day.  Over the den of little people climbing everywhere and screaming, I heard Z say to Coop, "You're a good bruder, Coop.  I wike you a wot".  Ah.  warm fuzzies.  "Ok. I can wipe your butt.  Just give me a moment... AND GET BACK IN YOUR BATHROOM."  (This was followed by a lecture about lessons in wiping his own dang butt.)

I came back to my nice warm bath and savored a moment... then another voice came to the door.  This time I yelled, "What do YOU want?!"  Coop says quietly, "When you get done, can you come downstairs and give me a kiss and hug?"


"Yes, give me a moment."

Eff baths.

I guess sleeping is my "me" time?

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