Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bitchy Bitch

My morning was insane.  Max had his first Speech Therapy session today and this would mean... a stranger in the house!  This also means I've been working on getting the house into decent working condition for about 3 days.  Having 4 kids means having a mess, but homeschooling means having a bigger mess... I wasn't so sure the therapist would realize all this... especially since, and call me judgemental, I could tell just during our first conversation on the phone that she didn't have kids.  How did I know??  You just know when you're a mom.  Especially a weird mom. me.  I tend to be silly about 95% of the time because normal is boring.  I cracked some joke on the phone and she was all like, "Ok.  Be there Thursday at 11 then." Shut. down.

Anyway, I flew around the house... not cleaning up toys because that can be expected in a house like mine, but cleaning up, say, guinea pig poop that had been flung to the floor.  Gunked oatmeal on the highchair.  Making the toilet not look so much like 2 young boys use it.  Making the house not smell like poopy diapers.... Probably the hardest jobs were all pertaining to me.  and this body.  of mine.  Brush my hair.  Brush my teeth.  Cover up my acne that has decided to rear its ugly head.  Things that would be really wonderful... if I had enough time to actually accomplish them daily... heh, heh...  But I thought today, the therapist might like to see that I made some effort to look human.  All this work.

She comes in and announces that she just... talks.  "Repetition, ya know..."  That's her syllabus.  Her goal.  In a nut shell.  She's gonna say words a bunch to my kid.  30 minutes a week.  And I think that is just really swell because I never considered doing such a thing... talking to my kid and all...

Before you just think I'm a bitchy bitch, I'll remind you that my Z graduated from speech therapy just this past February.  Not only could he talk when he was done, he was a smartass, which I love because its just my style.  During his final evaluation the therapist held up a sheet of paper with 6 colors on it.  Z blurted out, without being asked, "red, blue, purple, yellow, orange, brown, pink!"  He had gotten every. single. one. wrong.  I sighed thinking, "Jesus, I can't do this another 6 months" when he suddenly yells, "hahahahahahaha!!! just kidding!" and recited them all correctly.  We all laughed and the therapist said something to the effect of, "I think we're done here."  That therapist was phenomenal.  She had a rapport with Z, brought cool toys to play with and seemed to have a method.  Always had a handout for his nerdy mama.  This new chick and I are not meshing.  She's already announced she won't be bringing toys.  She just really kinda sat there like a bump on a log.  Ima give her the benefit of the doubt though.  We are only at the beginning.  I just can't believe I'm back to needing the house to look decent at least once a week and brush my teeth in a timely manner if only for one day...  such is life. 

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