Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Oprah's Sista

Craziest thing happened yesterday.  I'm hem-hawing around in the chips aisle at Food Lion when I notice Doritos are FREAKING $4.29 A BAG.  I am not only not used to buying chips, I usually don't pay so much for a single item on my grocery list.  Two things though:  1.) It's Coop's birthday the next day and he has specifically asked for Doritos for his day-before-his-birthday-meal (the reason for this is long winded... nevermind.) 2.) they are buy on get one free.  Even with a bogo, this seems expensive to me.  But, we don't normally eat chips and the longer I stood there, the more I wanted them.  It was for a good reason.  I took a deep breath and moved on.  (I hate Food Lion and truthfully, just wanted to get the hell out of there.) 

So after an eternity, I get to the front and begin playing Russian roulette, check-out style.  I nearly didn't choose the check-out I did because it seemed something was going on at the front of it.  Be it coupons or price checks, I didn't want any part of it.  I took my chances.  I was deep into a headline about which newly married star was pregnant when I heard the world's slowest cashier say, "I'm sorry, you're still negative."  The masculine black woman at the front of the line looks around and locks eyes with me.  "Gimme some of yours!" she shouts.  I can't describe my face when she said that because my mind went blank trying to realize what the hell she meant.  She then goes through my cart and begins pulling stuff out.  She grabs the two bags of Doritos and says, "I'm buying these for you!"  I said "Why?!" in a way that I hope sounded nice, but probably had a hint of please-don't-stop-there to it... truthfully.  She says, "'Cause I'm Oprah's sista.  Today's yo' day!"  I joked, "Well!  I'm so honored!"  She replied with, "Just come to my funeral and say something nice."  That lady kept pulling stuff out until she wasn't "negative" any more.  I'm still not clear on how all this came to be... I can only imagine that she may be one of those coupon ninjas that somehow get an unheard of deal where ever the go.  I don't care, I was thankful and it was probably one of the coolest things to happen to me in a while. 

Oprah's sista is the shit.

I proceeded home with a cool story and all the goods for a redneck, mosquito-filled weenie roast.  At the request of Coop, we were to roast weenies all together because the Hubs has to work tonight on his actual b-day.  Tonight is Kid Cuisine night.  They've never had one and have begged to try them...  I'm not going to look at the ingredients (barf).. just throw it in the oven.  Once won't kill them.  (Right???)  Anyhoo... I digress.  Here's our last night.  It ended with a righteous dance party in the middle of the living room... 

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