Wednesday, June 27, 2012

How NOT To Tell If Homeschool Is Working...

Since forever my Cooper has not given me the satisfaction of telling me what he wants to be when he grows up.  Never.  Even Zander has said here and there that he would like to be Spiderman.  Coop has never uttered a single opinion on the matter.  Except...

For quite awhile now he has had his mind made up that my brother has THE life.  Being a young bachelor, he has his own quiet apartment, plays lots of video games and loves to sit with his shirt off.  (You can do that when you have your own place, apparently.  Hell... with these temps, I shit you not, I would be wearing nothing if it weren't so... well... gross...  certainly isn't attractive... at.  all....)  So to a then five year old, now six year old THIS WAS THE LIFE.  And I can't say that I don't agree... that is, until I factor in all the adult crap that suddenly occurs to me the longer I dwell on it... you know, rent, bills, food and car and all... But anyway, Cooper had decided he'd move right on in with his Uncle as soon as he was old enough.  Yes, the dream life... two bachelors.  video games.  no shirts necessary.  (and a lot of pizza apparently, says Coop.) 

Cooper's young mind was stunned yesterday when I sat down to pick his brain.  He's quite the conversationalist (I think) and I enjoy throwing random weird questions at him.  "Ya know,"  I started, "[Uncle Bro] has a girlfriend now."  Blank stare.  "What if this girlfriend moves in with him one day??"  Blank stare.  "It may be a little weird what with you sittin' around on his couch all day playing video games with no shirt on."

His eyes became as big as saucers.  You could almost see the trickles of thoughts as they soaked through to his brain.  "[Uncle Bro] might have a family of his own one day,"  he said.

"Yep.  Will you ever have a family of your own?  You might want to rethink your living situation after you leave this house," I said.

He thought quietly for only a second and then started and I knew it would be quite the scheme.  "I'm not going to have a family of my own.  I'm going to live in my own apartment."  And this was the moment I had been waiting for...  I knew he was going to tell me what he wanted to be when he grew up.  Some inkling of an idea, a small rabbit hole into the brain of an intelligent six year old.  Wait for it... oh the anticipation!  What could it be!!?

"I'm going to work at a GAS STATION.  That way I can GET PAID AND BUY CANDY BARS from the same place."

My shoulders slumped.

"Then I'll go home and play video games for three hours.  After that I'll go to bed and then wake up and do it all over again."

Oh, the inspiration.  The motivation.  The...  whatever.

I can tell this homeschool stuff is really working.


  1. Uncle Bro11:57 PM

    Don't forget the "adult beverages" he hopes to someday have.

    1. Oh yes, yes! I forgot that part. Man, he's got some dreams.

  2. I just laughed out loud.

    When I homeschooled my now college-attending daughters, the elder told me at 5-years-old that she wanted to be a garbage collector.

    Could she have been testing my motto: "you can be WHATEVER you want to be when you grow up"? Did she mean it?

    I still do not know. But in that moment I said, "Yes, you could. You could be a garbage collector if you would like to be."

    That took strength and belief. Which you have, apparently. So, no worries. :)

    1. Ha! I love it! Yeah, I gave him a good, "hey, you can do whatever you want to do... but don't you want a job that enables you to buy CARS and candy bars?" It was a no go. I guess to a little person the dream of candy bars and video games is just too great. =o)

    2. Ha. You are too clever for your own good. ; )


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