Monday, May 06, 2013

Don't Be Person A

As I see it, there are two types of people in the world.

The type that says, "You aren't going to have any more, ARE you?"

...and the type that says, "Are you going to have any more?"

I am talking about kids here.  Am I going to have any more kids.  Maybe you think this is pretty close-minded of me, but I can tell many, many different things about a person in the way they ask me that question.  And I ultimately know, in 1.5 seconds if I like that person or not.  Bridges can also be burned by asking me this question and cocking your head just so... even if I've known you for years.

Let's call them Person A and Person B.

I would like to publicly announce that I freaking live for being asked, "You aren't going to have any more, ARE you?" by Person A.  I should also add, Person A, that I am just fucking with you.  When you ask me your question, I will cock my head just as you do and politely reply in a soft voice, "That's up to God."  Is this my true answer?  No.  Well, yes and no.  I plan on Finn being our last, but I do believe that God gets the final say.  If He decides it's so, well... it is.  Isn't it?  By the look on your face though I can tell that if I found myself in that position abortion is clearly the only answer.  You believe I truly have too much on my plate.  For sure your tax dollars are being used and therefore wasted on my family.  What??  No, no!  You would never...  you just meant... that's not what you were saying!!  When I say "That's up to God," you will catch your breath and say, "How old is your oldest?"  I will say, "7" and you will do quick math in your head.  After I lay out all their ages for you, you will follow with, "well thank goodness you have 2 of them in school! right??"  I will look you right in your little eyeballs and say, "actually, we homeschool."  I will sit back and wait for that to sink in and you have many different responses...  "my, you DO have a lot on your plate!", "WHAT?", "how do you DO it?"  You think all these responses are okay because somehow you are complimenting me.  I hear instead, "Wow.  You are quite the weirdo.  Ima back away slowly because I just don't know what else to say."  I DO walk away because I know you don't see anymore in me than a homeschooling mom of a lot of kids.  Frankly, that conversation got as far as it did because I just like to see you stumble on your words.

Person B.  You are cool with me.  Maybe you've seen me at church where all my little ducklings know how to silently peacefully moderately quietly sit through mass.  Maybe you know us from Scouts or the library, some of the places where the minions receive this "SOCIALIZATION" that everyone freaks out about.  Maybe you've noticed that we all look pretty happy and, hey... who wouldn't want to be a part of that party??  I like you, Person B.  You seem fun and unassuming.  You ask in such a non-chalant, cheery way that I can simply reply...

"NO.  Oh my gosh... no.  Boy these guys are so much work.  It's a happy chaos, but I am TIRED."

...don't be Person A.


  1. HA! I was JUST thinking about this this morning! I, too, can tell by the way the question is phrased or maybe by how many kids they have themselves. It's weird that any of us feel we can impose on anyone and even ASK such an odd question. I did it myself just last night though. I did however, proceed it with "this is none of my business so feel free to tell me to shut up," so hopefully that helped. I have 3. Not a lot, not a little. But people still ask. We're just a nosy lot!

    1. I guess being nosy is one thing, but its the look in their little beady eyes!!! You just know what's coming! =o)

  2. O.M.G.

    THE END.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...