Itchin' to Etsy.

I need this:

Have I suddenly taken a job at Michaels??  Am I the newest ticket taker at the fair?  No.  I saw the colors on this apron and I was all like, "damn.  I want that.  but why?"  and then I turned around and peered into my laundry room.

This is what I saw:

This is my catch-all that sits a-top my dryer.  As you can see, I've washed (and usually dried) a lot of dumb stuff.  My hyper-vigilant anxiety took a big sigh of relief when I pulled the lighter out of the dryer before the house blew up.  And no, I don't smoke... a kid was probably just playing with it and that's why it had been stuffed in my pocket.  No biggie.  (I kid!  I kid!)  It's like a tiny Christmas when members of the Fam rifle through my bowl.

Truthfully though, most of this crap comes from MY pockets because I'm too caught up in whatever to go put the item in it's proper home.  That's where his amazing apron comes in.  I'd slap this on every morning...  I'm sorry, you need a band-aid?  BAM!  it's in muh pocket!  Lola needs a bottle?  Well I just happen... to have... one... HERE!  You're hungry?  ...why I just happened to have picked up some cheerios and stuffed 'em riiiiiight... HERE!  All while picking up all that stupid little shit from the carpet that never seems to find its way home, but by darn, the baby will find a home for it.  Ingenious really. 

You can find this apron here.  Ima move this to "priority" on my Amazon list.