Itsa Poop Fest!

Tips for hand washing cloth diapers.  Because maybe you like to pretend you live in the 1800's.

1.  Approximately 1 week before attempting to wash your cloth diapers by hand, begin feeding your wee babe a diet of cheese and apples.  This will ensure they create those cute little turdlettes that roll right into the toilet leaving the diaper nearly clean.*

2.  Approximately 3 days before attempting to wash your cloth diapers by hand, use your tub to shave your legs.  I chose 3 because you don't want to turn into Chewbaca, however you don't want to give your husband the expectation that you'll be shaving your legs any more often.  Also, after you see what floats in your tub, you won't want to take a bath in there.

3.  It should go without saying, but every time your little darling poops, flush it down the toilet!  The job is long, nasty and TERRIBLE if you don't.  This is true whether doing this by hand or using your washer.  Even if you use disposable diapers, you're supposed to do that.  No, for reals.  Go check the side of the package...  I'll wait...

...

...

see????  No, no one does that... but you should.

4.  I keep my diapers in a 'wet bag'.  They are AMAZINGLY awesome. I used to just throw them in old grocery bags 'til wash day, but that was just nasty.  The wet bag keeps the smells to itself.  Of course, after a few days of sitting in a bag, the dirty diapers could very easily burn your nose hairs.  I filled the bath tub for the first soak, set the wet bag in there and filled it up with water.  I never smelled a dang thing.  'Twas a better smell experience than using the washer!

5.  I use a big paint stick to slosh 'em around.  Not because I'm worried about getting my hands dirty...  I long ago gave up on that...  it's the bowling ball that prohibits me from bending over correctly.

6.  Approximately......  *here*  .......you'll be glad you shaved your legs.  Drain tub.  Fill with warm water.  Use detergent.  Soak forever.

7.  Drain the tub.  You're nearly there.  Fill back up with warm water and detergent.  Scrub 'em up!

8.  Drain the tub, rinse 'em out and SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE.  You'll never do as good a job as your washer.  (frowny face.)  Hang them out to dry and fluff them in your dryer so they're soft for the lil' one's tushy.  Your electric bill will thank you.

9.  Get yourself a cold drink.  You'll feel like you worked all day, but you only did one measly, very specific laundry load for the day.   Everyone else still expects clean clothes too.

10.  Don't feel bad for me.  We just haven't had the time to fix the effed-up-laundry situation.  We're thinking 'pipe-snake' before we go full-on new pump.  We've got A LOT of ridiculous stuff (no, really, you wouldn't believe me if I told you) coming to a head (gross analogy) this weekend... then it's project laundry and project classroom.  Hell or high water.  Really.






*Don't be a moron.  Some of these things are just silly.  Don't really feed your kid a diet of cheese.  Although it may seem handy.

Five For Friday

I survived the week.  This surprises me.

1.  By the time Coop reads to the R.E.A.D dog, Lucy, at the library tomorrow, we will have been there 3 times in the last 3 days.  People are starting to talk to me there like I am a fixture.  I wonder if the librarian looks at me and says to herself, 'there's that poor baseball cap wearin' mama.'  (By the way... don't ever dress up for storytime.  It makes the other moms irritated.  ...maybe that's just me...)

2.  My kids are caught up on vaccines.  This may seem normal to uh, normal people.  For me, this could very well be the first time my kids have ever been all caught up.  It's rough with four kids.  And those freaks... the office ladies... always expecting copays!  The nerve.  It's all fun and games when you have just one kid.  It's fun to show off your amazing parenting skills and receive gold stars from the pediatrician for being so on time and being so damn awesome.  (They really should give out gold stars or cookies... it may entice me...)  But alas, once there are four and especially when you don't have kids in school and more especially when you are just too tired...  what a hassle!  But it's done.  Yay, me.

3.  I am glad to be done with Halloween!  I am sick of wondering what last minute thing I have forgotten regarding costumes, parties and decorating.  Let us move on to Thanksgiving.  More details to forget!  Here's my peeps trick-or-treatin':

We didn't shop for a single article of costume-wear this year.  We're such dress-up junkies that we furnished everything right out of our very own dress-up box.  My personal favorite was Maximus, the ogre.  No other costume suited a kid so well.

4.    I have fallen amazingly behind in Homeschooling.  Monday, I said, "Hey! that's why we homeschool!" and took a day off to get things done.  I said the same thing Tuesday.  And then Wednesday too.  We did accomplish a bit yesterday...  I think the down time has done us some good.  I'm actually re-evaluating our schedule.  I'm thinking we go full-on year round with more breaks.  I've seen other big bloggin' families doing the same thing.  We learn all year round...  I'll just mark my attendance accordingly.  Now that I've done this for a bit, why not stretch out and get comfy? 

5.  OMG.  Cloth diapers.  I began that trip about 3 months ago... maybe 4?  The water bill just crept up on me.  I didn't notice it so much in previous months, but the last bill I got made me get the Hubs to go checking for leaks!!  What's the freaking answer??  I don't have the luxury of caring for the Earth.  I'd like to be all tree-huggin', but I just can't afford it!  We're back to 'sposies' to see if the bill goes down.  I'm still doing cloth wipes because I can feel the savings with those, but diapers?! I feel like it's just another way for somebody to make money off of me.  One way or the other, Ima pay somebody for my kids' poop.  Sucks. 

So there's you're weekly wrap up.  I don't have pictures yet of Lo-lo-lo-lo-loooooo-lah's birthday, but my friend posted this today: 

I thought it was a pretty cute pic!

Happy weekend!

Ring-a-ling-a-ling

I realized the other day something that is both bizarre and interesting... if only to me.  My ears ring.  I don't think this is a clinical problem.  I think this is the workings of a tired brain trying it's hardest to reach homeostasis.  I don't notice it any other time than when a.) I am trying to fall asleep and the Hubs is not snoring or b.)  I'm in the bathroom, by myself, and the kids are sleeping and/or unconscious.  These times are clearly rare, but they have one thing in common:  silence.  I am so used to ongoing noise that my brain cannot wrap itself around quiet.  ...And with the newest Tourette Tic being humming... I have to consciously say to myself, "don't say anything.  don't say anything.  don't say anything." because it would be super crazy easy to yell at the poor kid without thinking.  There is just always an undercurrent of noise in my world.  There is only one way to solve this problem. 

A week on the beach.  and alcohol.

I am convinced.

In other news...  I have received my box o' diapers from Amazon.  It is damn near as tall as the kid that will be wearing them. 

Score.  I mean, I knew there would be 204 in the box... but seeing is believing.  And.  Damn.  I'm excited.  I'm going to be singing Amazon's praises for awhile.  Seriously, with the mom club they've got going on... the price just couldn't be beat... unless of course, you went cloth.  But he's two and... gross.  Check 'em out.  Seriously.  And be sure to join their moms club for more savings.

I'm also a little edgy today... I CANNOT FREAKING WAIT for the UPS man to get here.  Our whole "Story of the World" set up is on the way.  [History Curricula... nothing to do with Mel Brooks, cool kids.]    The kids are always like, "yay.  books."  and I'm always like, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKS!"  In a giggity-giggity-goo sorta way.  Ya feel me?  I can't wait.  And since I've been sensing a smidge of ADHD, whether it's just me or truly there, I think the Coop is going to enjoy some hands on stuff to mix with the workbooks.  It's been like pulling teeth lately.  (yuck.)  Kudos to Rainbow Resource... I ordered 'em up Friday and UPS tracking says they're on the way today.  (squee.)

Happy Hump Day, Peeps.

Huzzahhhhhhh!

This is the view out of my front door at the present time:

Awesome, eh?  Gorgeous and breathtaking all at the same time!  When the Hubs comes home, first thing he will say is, and I quote:  "What the hell?"  I will try to explain it in a crunchily manner, "Why, the sun has excellent anti-bacterial properties!  These diapers will smell so sun-fresh!"  Truth is I am sick of running my dryer every single damn day for a few diapers and butt wipes.  As for the butt wipes, when they came out of the washer today and I was hanging each little moist square just-so on my tiny little drying rack, my brain finally said, "huzzahhhhhhhhhh!  You are just going to stick these stupid little things in a wipes box with soapy water anyway!"  Ugh.  This happens all the time, some idea pops in my head to switch up something I've been doing for the longest...  my brain's way of being sure I never grow too big for my britches and reminding me I can be a dumbass.  Yay!  Anyway, I'm sure my brand new neighbors next door are very excited to be living a few feet away from a house that could become all Sanford and Son at any second.  (We aren't that bad.  ...but we could be.)

Switching gears only slightly...  When I was first trying to figure out the whole cloth diaper thing for our 9 month Lola, she was in utero.  Never at one time do I ever have the million in throw away bucks that some websites would have you believe you need to buy a whole load of the cloth diapers they would also have you believe you need.  (that sentence confuses me too.)  Here's what I'm saying:  when you have a baby you do not need 20 all-in-one diapers.  This is also something my brain told me one night while piddling on Amazon.com.  All-in-one diapers are complete.  Put 'em on the baby's bum just as they are, take 'em off when dirty, throw 'em in the wash.  That's all fine and good, but I've got more time than money.  Suddenly it occurred to me that the old fold-em-ups did a fine job since, I dunno, the dawn of time.  I bought enough diapers and enough Thirsties Covers to survive and do laundry nearly every other day.  Cost me about $100 including Amazon shipping charges. My kid hasn't leaked yet.  The only thing I regret is the fact I didn't do this starting with my first kid.  Oh, the money I've wasted.

I think something else that deters a lot of people, is the idea you have to be some sort of amazing crunchy granola mom that lives for all things environmental.  I've seen blogs titled something like, "Adventures in Cloth Diapering" or "All Things Cloth Diapering" or "I Love Talking About My Kids' Poop On A Constant Basis" ...something like that, anyway.  It just doesn't have to be so amazing.  You have to do laundry.  Do a load of diapers every now and then.  I didn't do it for a life change or to reach nirvana.  I didn't even do it for the environment.  I'm just sick of paying so much money to literally throw away shit.  Period.  

Anyway, that's my two cents on cloth diapering.  Just do it.  I don't think you'd be sorry you did.  I'm not, especially since I realized today I am not too proud to just hang 'em up to dry out my front door.  Save what's left over for all the food your little ankle biter consumes to make the poop. 

Sandy Poop!

I am, like, 95% sure Maximus Prime (above in all his glory) has a wheat allergy.  The last few weeks I decided to become a pioneer woman of sorts and make everything I possibly can.  Now, this kid has been poopin' sandy, grainy, stick to ya booty poop for weeeeeeks several times a day.  However, if you mix in homemade:  granola bars, bread, hamburger buns, ravioli, pasta, muffins, cakes, cookies, etc. it makes for a... mess.  Ima get to the gritty details (muhahaha.)  This poop is so grainy, you could use 10 disposable wipes on it and it ain't goin no where.  I switched to cloth wipes for him (no cloth diapers yet because I'd feel bad for my washer) and that just made more laundry and a very stinky situation to have pile up.  There are times he needs a bubble bath just to get the job done.  

I think I've made it relatively clear that I am no computer genius, but I've Googled "wheat allergy" in the past.  I've also Googled "lactose intolerance" and "celiac disease".  (I've become pretty good friends with our amazing pediatrician, but she does make fun of the fact that I Google EVERYTHING.)  I had told Hubs earlier in the afternoon that it just looked like he poops bread!  So last night, after changing, I dunno, 6 grainy, sandy diapers I thought, "Hey!  I'll Google [duh] 'grainy, sandy poop'."  There it 'twas...  so many parents with the same damn thing happening.  

Kid hasn't had wheat since 7 pm last night and hasn't pooped either.  Yay us.  

Of course I'll add the usual, 'everybody's different', but mayhaps you've come here because the same thing is happening to your kid... try the wheat.  I figured it's not celiac because it just doesn't seem life altering, just amazingly annoying... and tears up his butt something fierce.  I'm not going all gluten-hatin', but we're gonna stick with this wheat thing for a bit.