An SPD Gluten-Free Update.

I'M DONE.

THE END.


...

We gave it one solid month.  ...And we were stringent, dammit!  For thirty days Max was absolutely completely gluten free.  (Well... except for that one time Daddy made dinner, simple PB&Js.  We both turned around at the stove bewildered as to why it all went off without a hitch, why everyone was so damn quiet and well-behaved.  And there they were... ALL of them... stuffing their faces with bread.  OOoops.  It's hard to remember sometimes... but for serious, it was only that once.)  On a gluten-free diet, Max tries to murder Lola, break windows, jump off furniture with wild abandon, scratch, hit and bounce his butt on nearly anything.  ...Which is not really a big difference from any other time, sadly.  Sometimes it seemed better and sometimes it just didn't.  That's the pattern with Sensory Processing Disorder too.  Sometimes it's okay for a spell and then sometimes... it just fucking sucks.   I decided to take him off the gluten-free diet then and see if things got worse.  Nope.  The same.  On a gluten-ous diet, Max still tries to murder Lola, break windows, jump off furniture with wild abandon, scratch, hit and bounce his butt on nearly anything.  Without much difference in behavior, but huge differences in grocery budget and menu-planning, I decided gluten-free just wasn't for us.  To note, his speech is getting better and continues to get better even when eating le evil white flour! 

I knew it may not be the miracle I was hoping for.  It was an "easy" thing to try though to see if it could potentially make life easier in other areas.  I can see where it helped our family get healthier in other ways.  Usually we had a bread-y substance at every meal before going gluten-free... post GF we still don't eat many biscuits, breads or rolls with our meals.  It's still pick a meat, pick a vegetable, pick a fruit and go with it.  Easy peasy.   

I, fortunately/unfortunately noticed my face getting clearer from major rosacea breakouts I guess because there simply wasn't as much gluten-ous items to pick from in the house.  I continue to stay away from gluten... unless there's cake.  If cake is a choice, always choose cake. 

So there it is for Maximus Prime.  Would it work for you?  Who knows.  The point is, you just really don't know until you try... and compared to a lot of things, it is easy-ish to try.  Give it a quick Google and you'll find out that some people SWEAR by a G-Free diet.  I just want to remind you that, hey, everybody's different.

Loose End, Loose End. Cut! Cut!

Oh, Monday.  Hello.  There are some days that are just so full, I don't know where to start.  There's just so much crap going on lately and so much to be accomplished that I just almost can't see the forest for the trees.  It's like my big messy garage... there's so much shit in there, I throw up my arms and say, "Eh.  Later."

I thought I'd tie up some loose ends for you.  I mean, because I know you are on the edge of your seat about some things. 

The Damn Weighted Blanket:  not complete.  Well, not started.  Oops.  Could we still use one?  Mayhaps.  Max still wakes up in the middle of the night.  I wouldn't say as often though.  ...and I got such weird advice from everyone.  It's hard to decide where to start... like, SEVERAL people suggested I use BEANS for the weight.  As in, yum-yum-these-beans-are-tasty beans.  Wha???  What happens when he pees the bed?  Can't wash beans.  The Hubs stands by his idea to have my mom crochet washers into a blanket.  Chain-mail?  Sounds painful.  The little booger seems to be doing okay lately.  Back in MAY the school system said THEY would call ME for more specific testing.  Have I heard from them?  Hell-to-the-no.  Thank you for confirming my suspicions, school system.  On a lighter note... due to the sensory issues (I believe), Maximus never wanted to use a cup.  It seemed to cause anxiety over potential spills.  Over the weekend he just decided, "Ima do this."

Now this doesn't mean when it spills he doesn't go ape-shit-crazy.  Screaming, crying and asking one million times (no, for serious), "water-spill???  clean up???" in his Cookie Monster voice.  But at least he tries again and that is an improvement.

Panties?:  I continue to get multiple hits everyday because I have uttered the word 'panties' on this blog.  It was pretty hilarious at first and now slightly annoying.  Here's a non-traditional blogging tip:  use the words fucking, boobs or panties to up your stats, if you're into that sort of thing.  The world is a dirty, dirty place.

Eddie Vedder:  still hasn't called.  What is WRONG with that guy??  sigh.

Rosacea:  it's back bitches.  Two months (?!) ago the dermatologist put me on antibiotics.  Do you know what long-term antibiotics do to a gal?  A pregnant gal???  We won't go there, but I'm done.  If stress is my trigger, it ain't going anywhere.  I'll smear on the cream, think happy thoughts and invest in some plaster-like makeup.  (PS... I hate you, rosacea.)

Anyhoo... we had a pretty shiz-nit weekend.  Here's the pics.

 

 Well, Ima go kick this Monday's ass.

 Here's to you and me having one great get-it-done week.

Five for Friday

Let's wrap up this ridiculous week.  I'm hoping some good weather and (better) adult interaction will rejuvenate my spirits.  I'm ready to put this one to bed.

1.  I went to the dermatologist today.  Whenever I leave the house it just becomes a... thing.  Being pregnant never makes it better.  Well...  being 18 or whatever weeks pregnant doesn't make it better... I just look... squishy...  fluffy... not pregnant.  I like nothing more in the world than feeling absolutely frumpy and having someone wearing high heels and possessing amazing skin tell me, "ooooh THIS is better?!"... referring to my skin that yes, I thought looked better.  Once again, lest you think I am a whiner, I realize this is not cancer, but DAMN.  I just hate acne.  It's all made so much better when I have to navigate public with no makeup.  Really does wonders for the already faltering self esteem.  Bite me, doc.

2.  I forgot to schedule Lola's baptism.  Again.  For the second week.  ...Or rather, for the 17th month, see as how some Catholics schedule their kids' baptism even before they are born.  Ooops.  My bad.  Why can't I remember this?  She is going to look monstrous next to the wee babes.

3.  Here's an idea that came to me in my sleep regarding ye ol' weighted blanket.  Mayhaps shutting my brain off actually accelerates my idea process, as when I am awake there are just simply too many small voices in and around my head.  Ima make my first poly pellet purchase this weekend.  If you're along for the ride or making one yourself, it occurred to me that Michaels puts out a 40% coupon each week.  I'm going to grab enough flyers for the Hubs and I to buy 4 2lb bags.  $8.99 each goes down to $5.40 each.  This excites me.  In pricing the materials I'd need, it began to worry me that the "million dollar" price tag I saw all over the web may just be quite fair.  Anyway, here's a good blog that has instructions for constructing this monstrosity:  The Squishy Pickles  - found it to be the most easily read-able for a gal of my craft-caliber.

4.  I found this Tuesday:

 There are many things going on here:  a kid that enjoys reading, a kid that can keep his siblings busy (wooooooooo hooooooooooooooooo!), another great reason to homeschool...  impromptu reading on a bright and sunny afternoon.  Love.

5.  So the occupational therapist finally called to get this show on the road with Maximus... hey, it's only been six weeks since his initial evaluation, but who's counting.  Time to get to work.  ...or, work some more, I mean.

Toodles.  Ima work in a nap both Saturday AND Sunday... that's just where I'm at peeps.  Happy Weekend!

Excessively Douche-y Douche Bags and Other Matters of the Heart.

Alright, alright, alright (read as Matthew McConaughey... it'd be a lot cooler if you did.)  I apologize for my absence... sorta.  Had I been blogging for the last two months or so I would probably have felt pretty damn irresponsible.  Of course, I've been told lately I should take more time for myself... which makes me giggle a bit... psychotically... and wonder how I could make these 'experts' a fly on my wall.

So, I like writing.  Up until the point I don't.  And chances are, you like reading... up until the point you don't.  We will solve this by doing this 'Five For Friday' style just to catch you up a bit.  (I reserve the right to go past five.)  I will throw in a few (what I find to be) entertaining pictures and we'll call this done for the day.

1.  Probably the most interesting thing to happen in the last two months is that Maximus has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder.  I'll link it there in case you are a nerd like me.  If you decide to take on that rabbit hole, I will tell you he is affected proprioceptive-ly and perhaps vestibular-ly.  What this means for me is that all his little quirky-quirks that were so hard to explain are now being unraveled.  His speech delay has reasoning behind it.  Waking up screaming five times a night is explained.  Broken windows in the living room are explained.  Even the fact we've always called him 'The Brute' somehow makes even more sense.  It was not that long ago I began googling 'autism', if that tells you anything.  I knew something was up, I just couldn't put my finger on it.  Autism seemed like an awfully harsh diagnosis, but I knew there had to be an answer to his behavior and delays.  The diagnosis of SPD comes with a lot of relief and a lot of damn work, honestly.

2.  This happened:   

All possible chaos hits the fan around September 19th.  My excitement is squelched both by the stress of it all and the

3.  Excessively douche-y douche bags.  There.  I said it.  People suck.  I've gotten pretty sick of people lately and maybe that was one of the reasons I haven't blogged.  Picture it:  you tell someone, "Yay!  We're having a baby!" and it is met with:

"Have you heard from the discovery channel on having your own show yet?!"

"Giving the Duggars a run for their money?"

"Do you know what causes that?"

These statements seem to be all in fun, but I have heard them A MILLION TIMES.  It's like when Grandma tells the same damn story over and over again.  Eventually you want to smack her.  It wears on you.  I always answer, "yep... going for our own show!  That'll make diapers affordable!"  Or "YES.  SEX CAUSES IT.  WE LIKE IT."  Boxed up answers make me feel just as douche-y.  

Answering questions about my uterus or my husband's penis is also very fun whether at work, church or on the street:

"Wow.  Are one of you going to get fixed?"

"Have you heard of a vas-ect-omy!"  

"Will they tie your tubes after labor?"

I have now grown up in a way that allows me to tell nearly anyone, "Well, I really don't think that's any of your business."  

I also love when such a 'mistake' must be due to the fact I am Catholic.

"Is this because you are Catholic??"

"Well, I guess you'll just have a big Catholic family." (this was uttered by a Catholic "friend", without a smile and in a very sarcastic manner.) 

I didn't make up any of those.  Maybe it doesn't seem that bad to you, but I do not live through one single day without a sneer or joke at my expense.  After a while it hurts.  It hurt with the third kid.  It hurt with the fourth kid.  The fifth kid is getting it even worse.  The attitude from family and friends that the fifth kid is not nearly as important as the first is wearing on me as well.  

Okay.  I'm done whining.

4.  I have rosacea.   Nope.  Not as big as cancer.  For some reason I got a lot of hits on my whole rant on adult acne and I thought you deserved an update.  While acne just doesn't seem like the biggest deal, it gets pretty damn old after a while and I am crazy glad to be (nearly) rid of it.  I can now show my face in public.

5. We're still rockin' it homeschool style.  To the point that we'll finish up our curriculum about a month early.  At that point we'll be diving into science full force.  I am crazy proud of Coop.  His reading is amazing.  I don't know how parents get the exact numbers to brag about... 'my child reads on an eleven-teenth-kabillion-one level'... but I'm pretty sure he's up there.  Multi-syllable words are no challenge for him and second grade should get pretty exciting.  Just to update... I may be one of the only mothers to think "The Story of the World" curriculum sucks, but so be it.  We're on the search for history again...  

There you have it.  That's what I've been 'doing'.  Sometimes a whole lot of shit, sometimes a whole lot of 'nothing'.  It's true that as a mom the days are so freaking slow, but the years zoom past.  I look forward to being in touch with the world again...  until next time!